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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Arrested: 1/27
Charges: Armed Robbery
He’s a brick …FACE!
Mighty, mighty, just letting it all hang out
He’s a brick …FACE!
That mug is stacked and that’s a fact
Ain’t holding nothing back
Arrested: 1/29
Charges: Possession of a Controller Substance
Every once in a while you might wonder if chonga-style Sharpie eyebrows are still at thing, but all you have to do is check mugshots to be assured that chonga-style Sharpie eyebrows are still definitely a thing.
Arrested: 2/02
Charges: Tampering with Physical Evidence
You ever look at someone and think, “Damn, I bet they’ve liked Jackass: 3D on Facebook?”
Arrested: 1/24
Charges: Cocaine Possession with Intent to Sell
“And now here to help you ensure a safe cocaine deal is Weekend Update‘s consumer advocate Roseanne Rosannadanna.”
Arrested: 2/1
Charges: Resisting Officer Without Violence
Just as a general rule of thumb your chin should not have more hairs than your eyebrows.
Arrested: 2/4
Charges: Battery
“So wait, is this a good smile? I mean this looks good right? I’m sorry, I’ve just always been really insecure about my smile. Wait? C’mon man, you already took the picture? That’s just low.”
Arrested: 2/01
Charges: Grand Theft Auto
Your good side is never the bottom of your chin. Trust.
Arrested: 1/28
Charges: Grand Theft, 3rd Degree
As part of contract negotiations to bring Mugshots Friday back I’m allowed one highbrow joke a week (which, mind you, are distinct from high eyebrow jokes), so here goes: What did she get arrested for stealing? Marina Abramovic’s look? BANGO!
Arrested: 2/01
Charges: Grand Theft, 3rd Degree
Jay Leno sure moved on quickly.
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