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If you’re married in Miami, you might want to get out of town this summer. No, not to avoid the hurricanes — to avoid a nasty divorce.
A new report blames global warming for rising rates of infidelity, especially bad news for couples in Miami, where rising tides and raging hurricanes remind us all how much extracurricular sex we could be having on a daily basis.
See also: Rolling Stone Predicts Miami Will Be Underwater By 2030
Victoria Milan, a dating website for people looking to cheat on their significant other, surveyed 5,000 of its members, both men and women. A shocking 72 percent of them responded that yes, their own Al Gore-esque stress about unpredictable weather is the cause of their extramarital dalliances. Guess the fact of their existing committed relationships was just an inconvenient truth.
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Survey respondents also reported they’re more likely to sneak a little on the side in hot weather than in cold. That makes sense — after all, which would you say is sexier, a steamy Miami day or a polar vortex?
“Summer loving is something everyone experiences when they’re growing up, and the excitement and thrill of doing something a bit naughty never fades,” Victoria Milan’s CEO and founder, Sigurd Vedal, explains in a statement. “It’s no surprise that one half of a couple feels the itch when the weather warms up.”
So let’s recap: Hot, unpredictable weather makes for unfaithful partners. Just when you thought your hope of finding true love in Miami had hit rock bottom, a story like this comes along to prove there’s even farther to fall. But hey, we’ll all be underwater in 15 years anyway, right?
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