Our mamas always told us that patience is a virtue. Well, we officially believe them. After a bit of a boring season of Real Housewives of Miami, man, did things pick up during the live reunion last night? We mean, were we the only ones who were shocked? Every time…
Heartbeats, the second feature from 21-year-old wunderkind Xavier Dolan, is an Instagram of the Way We Fuck Now–or, more precisely, the way gorgeously costumed and coiffed French-Canadian early twentysomethings fuck and/or fail to fuck, while tripping over their own misguided attempts to land in love. The film, which opens at…
Just like pilgrims descending from the Mayflower onto American soil, The Real Housewives of Miami broke ground last night by being the first housewives cast to have a live reunion. The result felt something like The View on crack. What pioneers! But, we have to admit, the live format seemed…
The Real Housewives of Miami — or what we like to think of as the televised equivalent of an amuse-gueule (thanks, Top Chef) for the new season of The Real Housewives of New York — is about to wrap with a live reunion on Watch What Happens Live! tonight at…
Your Highness plays like a dirty-joke blooper reel made by the cast of a junky sword-and-sorcery epic, streaked with carelessly contemporary-sounding blue humor, blunt profanity replacing the naughty-naughty, tankard-sloshing, heaving-bosom ribaldry that goes with the period setting. The scene: a generic medieval realm from an EverQuest or Forgotten Realms module. In…
Sometimes Cultist gets stick for our posts on reality TV shows like Real Housewives of Miami and Basketball Wives. Well, stop hatin’. These shows are based in Miami, they’re crazy popular, and they’re part of who we are, like it or not. So what if they’re harbingers of the end…
Most of us might have spent our extracurricular time in high school trying to get laid, drinking cough syrup, or arguing with our friends about what attributes would best compose a kick-ass robot. That’s why we’re particularly excited about Bots High, Joey Daoud’s feature length documentary. The doc follows a…
Opening Night for the Florida Marlins is tonight and we’d like to say that we are excited about the team’s prospects. But we can’t. Not really. The Fish have been about average the past several seasons, and we expect them to hover at about that this year. It’ll be their…
The opening title card of François Ozon’s 1977-set Potiche seems to take design inspiration from the exploitation films of that period–a sneaky-smart way of nodding to one of this pastel-colored political farce’s key topics, if not its stylistic mode. As Suzanne, Catherine Deneuve plays the title role, which translates as…
Source Code: Jake Gyllenhaal is heroic even during weird plot wrinkles
Insidious: The Saw duo takes us through a haunted house
Biutiful: Javier Bardem and miserabilist humanism
Last night’s 90 minute season finale of the Real Housewives of Miami begins with a glimpse of Elsa’s fabulous purple socks which temporarily blinds us with their utter awesomeness. Then we move into a scene where Cristy claims that Adrianna is an attention whore when Adrianna takes the attention away…
What exactly is an X-Factor? An unknown factor in our algebra II class that was only slightly less infuriating than y? The spot on a map where a pirate’s booty is buried? An element a starlet has to take into consideration before dating John Mayer? Or is it something that…
Trend alert! Faux movie trailers. We’re hooked. Last week we pointed to SXSW’s film bumper Super Mario Bros., a Nintendo adaptation that looked like it was directed by Miranda July. This morning, we’ve spotted a movie trailer for Angry Birds the movie – if it were directed by Michael Bay…
In Insidious, which opens this weekend, there is a great deal of prowling motion: a recurring sideways dolly outside an ominous house, a trench-coat-clad cacodemon pacing outside a second-story window. It’s the restless motion of a movie stalking its prey–you, dear viewer. A married couple, Josh and Renai (Patrick Wilson…
You know when you’re little and your mom tells you not to touch the stove? Yet, even though you know it’s hot, you just get the urge to give it a little feel. This is how we look at celebrities who do reality shows. You know things about your past…
Miami is full of zombies. We have Juan Navarro and his web comic series, Zombie Years, Zombie Walk Miami, and even zombie workshops. So it’s no surprise to Cultist that two of our residents have teamed up to create a zombie web series for your viewing pleasure.Welcome to Zombiecast.Stephen Escudero…
Paul is not the third installment in the so-called Blood and Ice Cream Trilogy featuring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, though there are indeed servings of both. Note the one key missing element: Edgar Wright, who directed and co-wrote with Pegg both the 2004 zom-com Shaun of the Dead and…
As 18 to 35-year olds with liberal arts degrees, low-paying gigs, and strong stomachs for celebrity train wrecks, we caught part of Dancing With the Stars earlier this week and realized the ABC reality competition show is way out of touch with our alt demographic. Surely we’re not the only…
This season of Basketball Wives should have been called Evelyn Lozada & Some Basketball Wives. And while the future Mrs. Chad Ochocinco did take a lot of air time, one person who definitely stood out was Miss Royce Reed. You might recognize the tiny ex-Orlando Magic dancer from her very…
Jane Eyre: Cary Fukunaga’s version stresses the pursuit of independence
