I wanted to hate I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, truly I did. Two straight guys pretending to be gay (insert fiscal excuse here); been there, done that (insert all known variants on The Odd Couple here). Rampant homophobia hiding behind liberal pleas for tolerance — blech. And it’s…
Napoleon Dynamite looks like Cary Grant next to the hero of this Kiwi quirk-a-thon: a hulking, sullen creep named Jarrod (Jemaine Clement, costar of HBO’s new Flight of the Conchords) whose goony, sulking, petulant, selfishness, and dweeby videogame obsession somehow works like Spanish fly on mousy burger-flipper Lily (Loren Horsley)…
The magic has returned to the Harry Potter franchise — albeit magic of the old, black variety. The darkest and most threatening by far of the five Potter films, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is also the only series entry outside of the third, Alfonso Cuarón’s Harry…
Mike Enslin, the travel writer played by John Cusack in 1408, could use a better travel agent. Every hotel room in which he finds himself booked is said to be occupied by the ghost of some suicidal creep or a murderous goon who left behind a pile of bodies in…
Transformers twiddles its big, fat, stupid robotic thumbs for the better part of two hours before jabbing them into your eye socket and finger-fucking your brain in the last twenty minutes. Yes! It’s torture enough waiting for the iPhone and the second coming of Jesus without wondering when, exactly, this…
Still an all-American bloodhound after all these years, Bruce Willis’s Det. John McClane begins Live Free or Die Hard sniffing around a Rutgers-Camden parking lot and busting the frat boy who has been trying to cop a feel off of his daughter Lucy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). Oh, Dad! Since much…
A blitzed-looking man stumbling out of a screening of this dreadful excuse for unromantic comedy volunteered that the best part of the movie was when Robin Williams got socked in the jaw. Couldn’t agree more, but if you like your Williams spewing rat-a-tat gags and substituting stand-up for acting, you’ll…
Chancer: Series 1 (Acorn) Available solely in the U.K. for years, this is a small-time release featuring a modestly big-time star at the get-go of his career: Clive Owen, looking all of 12 years old and 73 pounds, is a sacked investment banker who winds up in the employ of…
Baa Baa Black Sheep: Volume 2 (Universal) Baseball’s Most Unbreakable Feats (Shout!) Batfink: The Complete Series (Shout) Disappearances (Universal) Dora the Explorer: Summer Explorer (Paramount) Degrassi: The Next Generation — Season 5 (Funimation) Dream a Little Dream 2 (Echo Bridge) Driving Lessons (Sony) Eureka: Season One (Universal) Filmation’s Ghostbusters: Volume…
We’re Americans. We go into other countries when we need to. It’s tricky, but it works.” So declares Michael Moore in the midst of his new documentary, Sicko. Moore may be riffing on the war in Iraq, to name only our most recent intervention, but he’s actually referring to U.S…
“Anyone can cook, but only the fearless can be great.” So goes the personal mantra of the late celebrity chef Auguste Gusteau, whose disembodied spirit materializes — Jiminy Cricket-style — to guide the rodent hero of Brad Bird’s Ratatouille toward his goal of gastronomic excellence. He also seems to be…
Originally set to be released during the Oscar-bait months as an odd sort of counterprogramming, DOA is likely to work far better in the season of sunshine and school breaks. Corey Yuen (The Transporter) delivers one of the year’s purest entertainments, the best butt-kicking PG-13 bikini jigglefest since the first…
Maybe the reason summer movies tend to be so bland, bloated, and generic is that we’re a captive audience. Where else are we going to go on a blazing 100-degree day? And the truth is, maybe our standards are lowered ever so slightly by that cool rush of conditioned air…
Black Snake Moan (Paramount) The best place to see Craig Brewer’s mash-up of blood-boiling exploitation elements would be a Mississippi drive-in circa 1972. His tale of a black bluesman (Samuel L. Jackson) who chains up a seething, scantily clad cracker nympho (Christina Ricci) would’ve had the lot under martial law…
The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3: The Complete Series (Shout!) Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (Anchor Bay) Dead Silence (Universal) Echo & the Bunnymen: Dancing Horses (MVD) Film School (Docurama) Frankenstein Conquers the World (Tokyo Shock) Going Under: Unrated Version (Blue Underground) High School Musical: The…
It takes Bruce Willis awhile to get warmed up. He’s always just a bit below room temperature — a cool brother, dig, dating back to his Moonlighting days as a private dick belting out “Tighten Up” while going undercover as a man of the cloth in Wayfarer shades. He’s been…
Evan Almighty, the followup to Bruce Almighty, is the work of an angry God. At 89 minutes that last a lifetime, it’s a sanctimonious sitcom dolled up as the most expensive comedy ever made — $175 mil, so they say, no doubt choking — and marks an unfortunate low point…
A skilled actor vanishes into a role; a movie star appropriates it. As presence trumps character, the star personifies Brecht’s alienation effect, and whatever its ostensible subject, the movie becomes a vehicle — the latest installment in an ongoing career or, in the case of a great star, a public…
Look up in the sky: It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s a giant silver eunuch on a radioactive surfboard! That’s more or less the gist of this mercifully brief sequel to 2005’s surprise hit about that other band of Marvel mutants, here joined by the eponymous big kahuna,…
You don’t need to watch the included preview of Live Free or Die Hard to know it’s going to blow; as this set proves, only odd-numbered Die Hards are any good. The first one, of course, is the perfect popcorn flick, and the bonus-disc extras here illustrate what can happen…
Animaniacs: Volume 3 (Warner Bros.) Bridge to Terabithia (Buena Vista) Gray Matters (Fox) Harrison’s Flowers (Lionsgate) If . . .: The Criterion Collection (Criterion) The Life and Hard Times of Guy Terrifico (THINKfilm) Lucille Ball Film Collection (Warner Bros.) The Manhattan Project: Special Edition (Lionsgate) The Many Adventures of Winnie…
Eli Roth is obviously a poseur, but on the evidence of Hostel: Part II, he’s also kind of a pussy. Anyone can string a naked woman up by the ankles and slit her throat, and though I admit it takes a little extra something to position a Eurotrash villainess beneath…
