The Angriest Young Man

Johnny is a bitter but brilliant guy with a taste for rough sex, the quintessential angry young man drifting through a London netherworld of emotional cripples. He’s got no shortage of places to go, but he’s searching for a warm place to stay. When he finally finds it, he leaves…

Titillation Factor

Kim Basinger has amazing nipples. It’s a bad sign when you walk out of a movie theater and the thing that most sticks in your mind is some physical quirk of one of the lead actors. I exited The Bodyguard, for example, unable to get over Kevin Costner’s haircut. It…

Going All the Way

“Let’s stop playing the dying fag!” exhorts Lawrence Helman, producer of the controversial movie Sex Is…, which opens at the Alliance Theater on Miami Beach this Friday. “Marc [Huestis, the film’s director] and I were tired of always seeing gays portrayed in the media as monogamous or abstaining — but…

We’ll Always Have Paris

In their infinite wisdom, Sony Pictures Classics, whose offices are in New York, decided to independently release the intricate French drama The Accompanist here in Miami on the eve of the Miami Film Festival. The Festival is an extremely popular and eagerly anticipated orgy of foreign movies that would sate…

Can Stop the Music

Nick Nolte playing the lead in a musical — now there’s something you don’t see every day. Nor, for that matter, will you see it any day, thanks to the early test-screening audience that gave the musical sequences in I’ll Do Anything a thumbs-down — way down. Writer-director James L…

Stone Cold Bad

Hotshot architect Vincent Eastman barrels down a slick mountain road in his classic 1968 Mercedes 280SL. He rounds a tight curve to discover a dilapidated VW van that has stalled while attempting to enter the thoroughfare ahead of him. Eastman swerves into the left lane to avoid the van –…

Nadonna on the Rocks

Let’s hope the L.A. earthquake didn’t claim any acting coaches. After viewing the latest outings by Madonna and Sharon Stone, Hollywood is going to need every last one. Madonna’s new film is director Abel Ferrara’s Dangerous Game, one of those self-indulgent film-within-a-film exercises. It’s hard to tell exactly where art…

Doing Justice

We live in a litigious world. Lawyers proliferate like locusts, except that the six-legged insects have a seventeen-year gestation period while the two-legged pests require only three. Yet no matter how many thousands of litigators law schools pump into the pipeline annually, the crime rate rises and the legal system…

Grumpier Old Men

From its opening scene of Richard Harris doing pushups in the nude, Wrestling Ernest Hemingway practically dares you to write it off as one of those feisty-but-lovable-old-folks-raging-at-the-dying-of-the-light movies. The Florida setting (in a fictional beach town called Sweetwater which bears as much resemblance to the municipality in West Dade as…

Love Me Tenure

Warning lights ought to flash in every filmgoer’s head any time the words “based on a true story” or “adapted from a play” are used to promote a motion picture. A true story is one thing, but based on a true story — that’s like the difference between 100 percent…

Dogsled Afternoon

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to avoid giving away the endings of films in my reviews. But sometimes a movie is so predictable I can’t help myself. I feel that old temptation and I end up writing something to the effect of: “You know from the moment you…

Film

I can’t really say I knew Bill Cosford. I met him a few times at previews. He liked popcorn. He was usually the first one out of the theater when a screening was over, no doubt a pre-emptive maneuver designed to avoid becoming entangled in endless “So, whadjathink?” queries from…

Uncomfortably Nam

Everyone has heard that shopworn saying, “The third time’s a charm.” But what if you’re successful the first two times you try something? Does that mean you’ll blow it the third time around? If your name is Oliver Stone and you’ve carted away Best Director Oscars for Platoon and Born…

Hail to the Chief

Manifest Destiny. What a clever two-word rationalization for the indiscriminate slaughter of tens of thousands of indigenous peoples and the bald-faced theft of their land. On September 5, 1886, Chiricahua Apache warlord Goyahkla, better known as Geronimo (a moniker bestowed upon him by the 3000 or so Mexican soldiers whose…

Borin ‘Em by Degrees

Have you ever been to a party where someone you don’t like tells a long-winded story about some fabulous adventure they had and you know it’s a good yarn but you don’t enjoy it because you can’t get around the fact that the storyteller is a jerk? Welcome to Six…

Hormone Hormone

One of my colleagues here at New Times who lived in Spain has asked me not to compare Bigas Luna, director of the anarchic sexual farce Jam centsn Jam centsn (one of the well-received offerings at this year’s Miami Film Festival), with Pedro Almod centsvar, Luna’s better-known contemporary. I feel…

Close Encounters of the Third Reich

Everybody’s a damn movie critic these days. When the president of the United States calls a time-out in the middle of his GATT announcement to give Schindler’s List two thumbs up — way up — you know the field has become saturated. What’s next — Al Gore urging every American…

They Shoot Pelicans, Don’t They?

The one thing it is not is brief. The bird it most resembles is not a pelican but a turkey. And the answer to the question all of America has been waiting to hear is…no, Julia Roberts does not contract jungle fever with Denzel Washington. She gives him a peck…

A Schwing and a Prayer

Hey, gang — let’s put on a show! Ever since Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney made careers out of that story line in the late Thirties, it’s been the most overused (and frequently the lamest) premise in television and motion picture history. It’s like an unwritten law of TV sitcoms:…

Nazis in Love

Two guys fightin’ over a dame. If it ain’t the oldest plot on the books, it’s one of them. The guy-girl-guy triangle has been a dramatist’s staple since Lancelot and King Arthur’s old lady Guinevere bumped uglies in the woods outside Camelot. I’m-no-good-at-being-noble Bogart beat out Paul Henreid for Ingrid…

Homo at Last

Hollywood is pretty evenly divided over the question of whether Tom Hanks’s portrayal of a gay attorney with AIDS in the upcoming film Philadelphia will mark the dawn of a new era of tolerance in mainstream cinema or the end of Hanks’s bankability. Will his on-screen kiss with Antonio Banderas…

Some Like It Dull

Robin Williams’s movies tend to fall into one of two categories: the comedian Robin and oh-so-earnest Robin. In the first mode, the peripatetic comedian essentially just adapts his stand-up routine to the cinematic role at hand so that what you get on-screen is a variation of Robin Williams in concert…