American Ninja Warrior to Film Downtown This Weekend

Obstacle courses like mud runs have become popular recently among Miami athletes who like to push their bodies to the limit. Now, the mother of them all is setting up right in downtown. And she is swole. American Ninja Warrior, G4 TV’s brawny sports competition, returns to the Magic City…

The Condemned Is an Insult to the Horror Genre

Writer-director Roberto Busó-Garcia’s Spanish-language movie is so tame and so completely boring that to call it a horror film is to insult the genre. Determined to restore the reputation of her father, a cancer researcher plagued by rumors of weirdness in his early research techniques, Ana (Christina Rodlo) moves the…

The Big Wedding Is Vile, Racist, and Embarrassing

When Michael Haneke’s sobering end-of-life drama Amour premiered at Cannes last May, many critics reflected on the presence of a shared cultural legacy. Its stars, Emmanuelle Riva and Jean-Louis Trintignant, evoked the iconography of the New Wave, the once-young faces of Hiroshima mon amour and My Night at Maud’s now…

Paris-Manhattan Is a Charmless French Ode to Woody Allen

Unless you watch Nancy Meyers’ romantic-comedy oeuvre strictly for the interior design and décor, there’s little to note about Sophie Lellouche’s shallow, witless but pretty enough French ode to Woody Allen, couched in a loose revision of 1972’s Play It Again, Sam. A model-thin blond beauty with perfect cheekbones, Alice…

Pain & Gain Is the Number One Movie In America Right Now

Congratulations, Florida. You did it. You’ve committed to being one of the most emphatically stupid states in the country. You’ve put in the time, out-crazying formidable competitors like West Virginia and Texas for years. Through hard work, dedication, and nutso batshittery, you’ve climbed the ranks of ill repute, earning first…

The Top Ten Movies Shot in Miami

LA sucks. There’s so much smog there you can hardly shoot a movie in the sunshine. That’s why all the great films of our time shot in golden quality natural UV come to South Florida. The latest, Pain & Gain, opens in theaters tonight. But it’s just one of many…

Pain & Gain: Six Things Michael Bay Got Wrong

If you see Pain & Gain, Michael Bay’s made-in-Miami dark comedy about a bodybuilder extortion scheme gone awry, before you read the original New Times story on which it was based, there’s a good chance you’ll like it. It’s colorful and exciting and genuinely funny at times; its cast does…