The Selling of the Governator, 2013

We’re now a generation removed from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s brief, odd reign as the biggest star in movies. This Coppertone age lasted from 1990, when two of the 10 top-grossing pictures were Schwarzenegger’s Total Recall and Kindergarten Cop, until 1993, when Last Action Hero — an attempt at a tonal gene…

Kim Kardashian’s Baby Is Already Too Fabulous For This World

Look, it’s not like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s plans to spoil their child are surprising. They’re rich. They’re going to be parents. Creating entitled offspring is what rich parents do. But if you think you know the level of opulence that’s waiting for the Kimyetus on the other side…

Gangster Squad Retells the Stories of Better Movies

Originally slated to open in September, Gangster Squad was delayed when the movie-theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado, suddenly made a scene of gunfire in Grauman’s Chinese Theatre “inappropriate.” Four months later, a turn in the film’s plot that relies on gunning down an adolescent risks recalling Newtown, but the proximity…

Rust and Bone Dismembers Cinema’s Beauty of the Moment

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, one must have a heart of stone to watch Jacques Audiard’s outrageous melodrama Rust and Bone without laughing. Loosely adapted from two works in Craig Davidson’s 2005 short story collection of the same name, Rust and Bone finds Audiard returning to the overdetermined characters and swift…

$ellebrity: Paparazzi Get No Love

It’s not easy being famous, as the famous love to remind us. Just ask Jennifer Aniston, Kid Rock, or any of the other instantly recognizable talking heads director Kevin Mazur has assembled for his docu-evisceration of the parasitic celebrity apparatus, appropriately titled $ellebrity. Although no one would deny that the…

Struck by Lightning: Chris Colfer Does It All

It’s almost impossible to dislike Chris Colfer, the young Glee star who wrote and stars in the high school comedy Struck by Lightning, which plays like a cheerful gay Revenge of the Nerds. However, never having seen Glee, I’ll make two observations about Colfer: (1) Yes, he’s very likable, but…

Godzilla and Flowers: The Films of Kim Jong Il

When he died in December 2011, Kim Jong Il left behind more than a dynastic regime and a closet full of drab pantsuits. Jong Il, who ruled the hermetic North Korea from his father Kim Il Sung’s death in 1994 until his own passing 17 years later, was a noted…