Newsflash: Cultist is guilty of watching reality trash television like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives. But what y’all don’t know about us is that we’re also die-hard Jeopardy fans. Not only does is our DVR programed to record new episode of Basketball Wives, it’s also programed to record America’s favorite…
On the first Labor Day Weekend we can remember sans Jerry Lewis’s fat face simulcast across network television, the other Nutty Professor, Eddie Murphy, was blowing up the Internet rumor mill. No, the 50-year actor didn’t give some street walking tranny a ride home, nor did he impregnate another Spice…
Ten episodes and two reunions later, its hard to believe that our beloved Basketball Wives has come to an end. Watching all the ladies, even Eric Williams and his teeth, had become a great start to our workweek. And while the new series, Basketball Wives LA, will do their best…
A scary movie is nothing but a pattern; a circumstantial plot that moves from one point to the next,systematically taking its viewers into a familiar world. In one version the chick might be the hero, while in another she’s the victim. There are serial killers and ghosts, and there’s always…
After summer 2010, the city of Miami Beach will never be the same. Not only did the Bad Girls Club take over our city, those Jersey Shore kids did too. If there was ever hope that we would never hear the phrase, “I’m in Miami, Bitch,” ever again, they ruined…
Poor Daryl Hannah. Not only is her first name a boy’s name, but she just got arrested at an environmental White House protest. Cut her some slack, guys. Clearly she’s confused her real life with her life as a mermaid in Ron Howard’s 1984 film Splash and was just trying…
A Good Old Fashioned Orgy: Gen X gets the sexual revolution it deserves
The Future: Miranda July grows up
Truffaut and Godard rise in Two in the Wave
The country’s fascination with Scarface runs deep. Maybe it’s Al Pacino’s over the top Cuban accent, maybe it’s the allure of the city’s drug running culture, or maybe it’s a young Michelle Pfeiffer slinking around in sequin dresses. Who knows, the point is America loves Scarface and will show its…
With kids going back to school this week, we adults have one, and only one thought: We hope you’re learning something because traffic totally sucks. And it doesn’t just suck because there are more parents out on the road, it also sucks because there’s more teen drivers out on the…
According to Deadline, singer-actress Christina Milian is in negotiations to star in a new ABC Family sitcom set in South Florida. Titled Maid in Miami, the new show is in development by Rita Rocks creators Stan Zimmerman and James Berg, and Glee executive music producer Adam Anders. Millian will play…
One of the best things about writing for the New Times and Cultist in particular is they let you write curse words, like a motherfucker. But we try not to abuse the privilege. We respect. Fucking-a we do. But still, it’s pretty great to know that unlike the rest of…
Miami’s foremost documentarian, Rakontur’s Billy Corben, has had a busy couple of weeks. Since news of Nevin Shapiro’s alleged improprieties with University of Miami football players broke last week, Corben has become the de facto spokesperson for everything related to UM scandal – and really, who better than the guy…
Ever heard the phrase, “If you want the truth, go to the source?” Well, it’s something we try to live by here at Cultist. So as we watched the Basketball Wives reunion Monday night on VH1, many questions came to our mind that host John Salley just couldn’t seem to…
Cheech and Chong, The Dude, Smokey, Jay, Kumar. These are some of the great heroes of weed movie history. You can add Yugo and Super Dave to that list. They are Miami’s own killer bud-smoking, Yugoslav rap bro, and Kentucky redneck answer to the stoner film genre. They’re raising money…
Our Idiot Brother: Paul Rudd’s long-haired dreamer imparts life lessons
The Interrupters, opening Friday at the Cosford and MBC, gets between the bodies and the guns
Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop at the Cosford August 26-28
Here are a few names we want to throw at you: Travis Barker & Moakler, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, Hulk and Linda Hogan. Yes, they are all famous, but they all have fallen victim to the putting-your-life-on-reality-TV curse. Meet two people that have made it work flawlessly: Bill and…
Is there such a thing as sincerely calculated naiveté? Or put another way, does Miranda July have any idea how annoying she is? Judging by The Future, writer/filmmaker/performance artist July’s second feature, I’d guess she must. A fabricator of her own screen image, July — the high priestess of quirk –…
What do you call a film that features three-dimensional beheadings, countless veiled “money shots,” kitschy romantic montages, in-your-face flying mule dicks, and eyeball-busting bouncing boobs? We’d call it the film equivalent of a cheap mixed bag of fun-size Hershey’s chocolate bars — lots of short-lived thrills and variety that make…
