In the first episode of Dexter, the grizzly Showtime hit, main killer, uh, main character, Dexter Morgan notes, “Miami is a great town. I love the Cuban food, pork sandwiches, my favorite, but I’m hungry for something different now.” Right on, Dexter. We like it here, too, but we’ll stick…
When the ‘Canes came charging out onto the field in 1987, they had a quarterback with almost zero battle experience. “There was one huge question mark on our football team,” says former Miami QB Steve Walsh. “And that was me.” So he practiced like a vet, busted balls, and he…
A ‘Canes practice back in the ’80s was an epically brutal test that broke even the hardest asses. For proof, check out the latest deleted scene from Rakontur’s The U. You’ll hear kicker Carlos Huerta admit: “I basically was a punching bag out there for the first year. I wanted…
We reality show junkies have had an amazing summer. All the Real Housewives hoochies have kept it botoxed and dirty while those orange guidos from Jersey Shore have been a holy gift from baby Jesus himself. Here in the 305, though, our new fave is Bad Girls Club Miami. Now,…
Get Low: A hermit’s life-affirming, predeath funeral
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and Michael Cera get soul
When we last left the Bad Girls Club, somebody had put Miss Morgan’s crap on the porch, and she was freaking out that the other bitches “disrespected her and her shit.” And just like we expected (YES!), in last night’s Episode 2, Oxygen brings us back right when stripper Brandi…
Florida was America’s film capital until the Puritanical residents of Jacksonville ran those industry heathens out to California in the 1920s. But Miami knows how to treat those denizens of debauchery, which is why they keep coming back to Miami to film movies. In Celluloid City, we spotlight some of…
The optic nerve dispatches information from your retina to your brain, a function that is entirely physiological and unless you suffer from psychosis, not open to interpretation. However, the films at Friday night’s Optic Nerve Film Festival touched upon both our intellects and emotions. And one film in particular –…
How real is your drag? How hot are your rags? How tight is your footwork? No doubt, you can’t touch the high queeniness of ladies like Pepper LaBeija, Dorian Corey, Octavia St. Laurent, Anji Xtravaganza, and Willi Ninja. In the late ’80s, non-filmmaker Jennie Livingston documented the drag balls of…
This past Saturday, as we stood outside the Bill Cosford Cinema waiting for Everything Is Terrible’s 2Everything 2Terrible: Tokyo Drift, we were extra curious to see who would turn up for this exercise in awkwardness. When we spied a few senior citizens in sweater sets, we wanted to throw trench…
Once, in the ’80s, we starred in a DIY inspirational video where making waffles was a metaphor for career success. We thought the death of the VHS format meant the evidence would eventually disintegrate in some faraway Salvation Army. Yet there’s a group of seven friends that searches for cringe-worthy…
There was always something about the A.V. kids in high school. Maybe it was their dark glasses or the way they parted their hair. They intrigued us then and they intrigue us now with this weekend’s 48 Hour Film Project, an entire weekend of film geeks huffing and puffing to…
When running back Melvin Bratton first crashed into Coral Gables in the early ’80s, he was all gung-ho and high on his skillz, figuring he’d walk unmolested into the U’s starting lineup, college ball stardom, and maybe even a big barrel of glory and naked girls. But Coach Schnellenberger said:…
The Other Guys: Will Ferrell and Adam McKay reteam, with decreasing returns
Step Up 3D: Technically dazzling yet blissfully old-school
Just a few months ago, we were bombarded from all sides by the news that the Jersey Shore kids had invaded our city, but many of us dodged them like a scary orange plague. All our careful avoidance was for naught, though, because we are going to be forced to…
Imagine your optic nerve went rogue and started tampering with the way your vision was processed by your brain. Instead of blue skies and green trees, those millions of nerve fibers told your gray matter you were actually seeing scenes from 1960s surgical videos. And you can blame the wayward…
Our world is plagued by many problems, but there is none more serious than chronic lack of food. Without proper nutrition, people do crazy things. They babble incoherently, self-mutilate, and sometimes even try to stuff their empty stomachs with inedible stuff like tofu. In the most extreme cases, however, hungry…
Try to imagine a Nicaraguan Million Dollar Baby and you have La Yuma, a film about a woman in Managua who dreams of getting inside a boxing ring a la Hillary Swank. It’s the first Nicaraguan feature film made in two decades, and it’s exactly the kind of movie that…
Florida was America’s film capitol until the Puritanical residents of Jacksonville ran those industry heathens out to California in the 1920s. But Miami knows how to treat those denizens of debauchery, which is why they keep coming back to Miami to film movies. In Celluloid City, we spotlight some of…
Season after season, the slightly deranged fans of Bad Girls Club watch in delighted horror as the Oxygen Network unveils its newest treasure trove of tragic messes. With all the crazy girl drama, booty calls, and ass pants, you’ve gotta ask yourself: Did they rip these ladies off a greasy…
