Father begged you not to choose art as a career. He was a hard man who valued simple, tangible pleasures, and he couldn’t understand how art could be a valid career for anyone at all. “Why don’t you do something constructive with your life, kid?” he’d ask whenever you brought…
Well, ladies and gents, we made it to the almighty reunion of Real Housewives of Miami. It’s the episode we look forward to each season, and our ladies didn’t disappoint… for once. So just in case you missed what Andy Cohen called “the best reunion he has ever been to,”…
In less than a month, Miami will explode with the annual arts extravaganza that is Art Basel. But that’s not the only reason to up your cultural game before the new year. New Times’ annual MasterMind Awards are returning as well, offering grants and exposure to creatives all across the…
Well, ladies and gents, we have made it to the season finale of Real Housewives of Miami, season three. And you know what that means? We haven’t been canceled… yet. Last night, we didn’t just get the final episode; Bravo gave us a back-to-back RHOM event, with Joanna’s bachelorette extravaganza…
Did you guys know that there is another wedding on Real Housewives of Miami coming this season? Of course you did, because that is nearly the only thing these women ever discuss on each and every episode. Two weeks ago, we got to see Adriana’s 12-hour wedding affair take place…
Dear residents of Hialeah, This morning, we’d like to call your attention to some very important news that will directly affect your daily life. And, in particular, your sexytimes. Bang With Friends, the app you Hialeahans use more than people anywhere else in the state of Florida, is no longer…
Now’s your chance to get in bed with Flo Rida. That’s right. The rapper, sometimes actor, and Kate Upton spanking specialist is making yet another Miami appearance next month. And because it’ll be at Coconut Grove’s annual Great Grove Bed Race, there’s a good chance you’ll catch him between the…
If you took note of a young Dwayne Johnson, playing football for the University of Miami back in the ’90s, you probably didn’t imagine he’d go on to become one of the most valuable assets a high-profile movie could hope to cast. Hell, even during the glory days of The…
It’s true what they say: all ladies dream of their wedding day. The white dress, friends and family, B12 shots in the ass, multiple outfit changes, running two hours late. Oh wait — that’s Adriana de Moura’s wedding day. Sorry, we are getting ahead of ourselves. See also: Real Housewives…
Eros. Narcissus. Psyche. Midas. The myths of Ovid live on in our everyday language, centuries after the Roman poet first composed them. And this weekend at the Arsht Center, they’re living on the stage, too. Metamorphoses, playwright Mary Zimmerman’s series of vignettes inspired by the works of Ovid, opens tomorrow…
In recent weeks, we have examined the diverse dating scene in the Magic City. First, we ran down the ten Miami guys you local ladies have dated. Then we gave Miami girls the same treatment. Soon after, our gay readers began asking, “What about us?” Don’t worry — we weren’t…
Technology has done wonders for our modern lives: the iPad, Skype, sexting. But if there’s one major drawback to our brave new world of interconnectedness, it’s this: that awkward moment when middle-aged folks fight over Twitter. They usually say something along the lines of “twat” instead of “tweet.” And nobody…
Can you conquer the G-String Crawl? Dare you enter the Dominatrix Dungeon? Will you slide into the Honey Tunnel or tackle the Blue Balls Dash? Don’t worry — you didn’t fall asleep in front of the phone sex infomercials again. These are just a few of the sex-themed obstacles for…
Here in Miami, fitness is a way of life. And it’s not just because bikini season never ends (though that is one hell of a motivating factor). The Magic City crowd is made up of a unique mix of vain party people and neo-hippie health nuts. And the one thing…
This story is more amazing than the Mets in 1969. Jacob Landis, a 24-year-old from Maryland, was born with normal hearing but turned deaf by the age of 10. Luckily, he was able to receive a cochlear implant allowing him to regain the ability to hear. A cochlear implant is…
If you don’t believe in miracles, well, you should. Last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Miami mentioned little to nothing about holy matrimony. Sure, they shopped for bridesmaid dresses, but that is about it. But the lack of nuptials came to a screeching halt last night. If you were…
With the end of Breaking Bad on its way, we’ve been thinking about crystal meth. Not actually going out and using the stuff, of course. But its symptoms are eerily similar to be behavior of the people on Bravo reality shows. Think about it: The mania, the twitchiness, the weight…
Travis Kalanick is a very busy man. Sitting on an overstuffed couch in the library of the Soho Beach House, the CEO of the San Francisco-based “digital dispatch” app Uber is feverishly typing away on his phone, in the midst of handling affairs at his rapidly growing startup. He rises…
Ladies, hang on to your husbands. The Vivid Live luxury gentleman’s club is officially open for your viewing pleasure. With Vivid Entertainment at the helm, you know you’re in for a class-act. These are the same people who made Kim Kardashian famous, who made Farrah Abraham a back-door mom, who…
So Joshua from Girls and Magda from There’s Something About Mary all walk into the Soho House. No, that really happened. Sure, Patrick Wilson and Lin Shaye are known for more than that, but they found a snuggly place in your heart for those two roles alone. And now, you…
Just when you thought Miami couldn’t get any sexier and/or seedier, here comes Vivid Live, a strip club branded by Vivid Entertainment, known for distributing the celebrity sex tapes of Kim Kardashian, Farrah Abraham, and others. The club opens this weekend with fanfare usually reserved for Hollywood movie premieres. On…
If we have learned one thing from Real Housewives of Miami, it’s that we want to work for Lea Black. All it seems you need is a fierce Spanish accent, some sass, and no work ethic whatsoever. And hey, if we can’t be on her staff, we want to be…
