The billboards are up, so it must be true: the walking dead have taken over the parking lot at Miami International Mall. House of Horror, the month-long pop-up amusement park, opens its second run next Thursday. And we’re giving away two tickets to opening night.For an extended preview of what…
These days, if you’re still not satisfied with the kickball or roller derby leagues popping up all over South Florida, maybe bicycles will whet your alternative sport appetite.The Miami Bike Polo league (polo, as in a mallet in one hand, a handlebar in the other, and a street hockey ball…
When Steve Jobs sold his functioning liver to the Devil in exchange for the iPhone, his first thought probably wasn’t, “I bet someone will create apps that ease no-strings-attached sexual encounters.” Just kidding, he’s a savvy dude so I’m sure he knew right away people would use the device for…
Six years ago yesterday, Yoga in the Park downtown held its first free class. Woo hoo!! There were only nine attendees. That first class practiced near the water because Hurricane Wilma had ripped apart the Tina Hills Pavilion. Boy has yoga evolved. Today the free class has grown into one…
Dear Hollywood Starlet,We have followed you from the beginning of your blossoming career in Hollywood. We watched you squeeze from the vagina of small-town America and be born into the limelight of our hearts. We have stood by you when you took that nonspeaking role in the latest uninspired horror…
Twenty years ago, Miami was getting to be a frigging weird place, and if you went to José Martí Park on any given Sunday, it might not have surprised you to see a bunch of maniacs riding in circles on bicycles, screaming and swinging sticks. Today, the city has cleaned…
Please say it isn’t so! Just when we thought at least one couple would survive in Hollywood, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith might be on the way out. There are rumors that the couple is “separating.” Although the comely pair recently denied such rumors, we all know this is…
Meteorological experts have called August “the month when hurricanes are almost as brutal as my divorce (as in when my wife tires of my fearmongering and drawing trajectory cones on her belly as we make love).” If a nasty, hard-core hurricane is going to strike, it’ll probably be this month. Katrina…
Admittedly, our gaydar at Cultist is not always what it should be. We still think Justin Bieber is straight, maybe even Charlie Crist. So we don’t mind admitting we were floored yesterday when we found out about a petition started by an Illinois resident to “allow” Bert and Ernie to…
This Friday, YouTube sensations, Jessica and Hunter, are getting comp’d all weekend as the hosts of Chambord Vodka Weekend. In case you don’t live on the Internet, they are a campy duo from Los Angeles whose viral videos target celebrity culture.We managed to find the two majah celebs conscious long…
Of course, South Beach would have a sex museum. And tonight, the World Erotic Art Museum opens its “Nudes: Erotic, Poetic and Patterned” exhibit, featuring a rare exhibit of 17 original works by the reclusive artist Norman J. Olson. The normally secluded Olson avoids the public and creates pieces “driven…
There are many ways to battle: via clamors and guns, via rap a la 8 Mile, and in a spirited dance-off. In the world of Montreal performance troupe Cirque Éloize, rival gangs choose to battle via a circus-off — or, more aptly, a cirque-off. In iD, which opens tonight at…
Want to know which demographic most enjoys gift-wrapping toenail clippings in moist towelettes? There’s probably scientists right now securing grant money for just such a useless study. And consider this study reported by the New York Times in which two sociologists gave us a groundbreaking conclusion: Women are more likely…
If you’re not Cuban, you probably have a Cuban friend who keeps you in stitches with his or her unique observations and off-color comments. Enter Pepe Billete. Pepe has become the 305’s favorite Cuban puppet gone viral. Billete takes songs you know and love, such as those by Rick Ross,…
Any asshole can streak. Any hippie can get au naturel for a still-life drawing class. And any shameless baby-boomer with a gut so large he has no idea he’s playing hacky-sack with his own nuts can go to Haulover Beach. But that’s boring — activities for nudie novices! Today, on the…
It’s all pretext. All of it. The beaches. The sun in the fun clichés. The models. The palm trees. The nightlife. Even the heat. The prevailing logic for why Miami is among the premiere destinations for travelers from across the globe is all bullshit. The real reason everybody wants to…
Pretend for a moment that Sarah Palin is elected president. Within mere moments, the United States will revert to total chaos the likes of which the Mad Max screenwriters would’ve traded two, maybe three kilos of coke for a glimpse of. And we’re fucking psyched. Not for Palin, no. We…
Queers all over the states are cheering the fact that New York has legalized same-sex marriage, although, considering it is New York, you’d think they had jumped on the bandwagon before, oh, we don’t know, Iowa, maybe?Either way, it is a fantastic reason to celebrate (eight states down, only 42…
Hooray New York! (Imagine a chorus snapping fingers!) The state became the largest and most important in the union to allow same sex marriages last week. But we have to admit, watching the measure pass made us a bit jealous. After all, Miami is just as gay as New York,…
In The Princess Bride, as Buttercup prepares to commit suicide with a dagger, Westley says, “There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” What a mensch! Well, this weekend, you have a chance to meet Cary Elwes, the actor who played…
The Miami Heat’s epic collapse against the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA Finals earlier this month still stings. But the pain has been assuaged a bit by the way Dallas Mavericks’ owner Mark Cuban, some of his players, and especially fans have acted since winning the title. If you can…
This weekend, the Hyatt Regency will be filled with people who penetrate others for money. We’re talking needles here, and no it’s not a methadone convention. It’s TattooLaPaLooza, the third annual tats expo where those that ink and those who love to get inked congregate to bleed and show off…
