Sauced at Tijuana

Apparently, the Tijuana Flats Burrito Co. has finally opened up a location in South Florida. It’s about time. Tijuana Flats is a Floridian company, after all, straight out of Winter Haven, and they’ve got branches in four states already. We ordinarily wouldn’t get so excited about a chain restaurant, but…

La Champa – Rat Shit Restaurant

A recent routine food inspection report for La Champa Sport Grill (2001 NW 36th St., Miami) turned up some interesting results. According to the report “Violations require further review, but are not an immediate threat to the public.”Here are my favorite 2 violations- Observed hole in wall.- Observed rodent activity…

Green Markets Continue To Sprout

The Market Company has started a Fresh Market at their Market Company Warehouse in Wynwood (4127 NW 2nd Ave., just west of the Design District). Local produce, honeys, cut flowers and more will be sold on Tuesdays and Thursdays, excepting holidays, from 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. The Market Company…

Cook a Dragon Millipede

According to a report issued today by the World Wildlife Fund, the Pink Dragon Millipede is one of 1000 new species discovered in the Mekong region of Southeast Asia in the last 10 years. Okay, so the thing has a cyanide-producing gland. But that doesn’t mean your favorite TV chef…

An Interview With Ted Allen

C. StilesNectar Lounge at the Seminole Casino Coconut Creek was host to the Christmas-ey dessert party, Sweet Dreams, this weekend. The event featured a huge spread of sugary cakes, candies, flash-frozen ice cream, and dessert sushi, which you can check out by viewing our slide show. But it also featured…

Searching For Fugu

 Remember the old Simpsons episode where Homer eats the poison sushi? The stuff was called Fugu, and it’s made out of pufferfish/blowfish. It can be more poisonous than getting bit by a dog that just got bit by a rattlesnake that’s been eating hemlock out of an old tin can…

Return of the Ball Jar: Middle Class Anxiety Files

The Ball jar: Preserving our Illusions.The New York Times reported last week that sales of Ball jars are up 92 percent from the same month last year. That’s because the upper middle class is getting jittery about the economy, and when we get jittery, you know what we do? Just to take myself as an…

Epic Opening Tonight

Area 31 makes its’ debut tonight on the 16th floor of Brickell Avenue’s Epic Hotel. Executive chef is John Critchley, who trained under Boston’s renowned chef Ken Oringer (Clio) and was known to make a mean morcilla at his own Beantown tapas bar. The sommelier is Emily Wines (from San…

The Inspector: Ver Daddy’s Taco Shop

Yesterday we received this comment to a post about roaches at a North Miami Quizno’s: Paul says, “They should check out Ver Daddy’s taco shop on Biscayne too.” The Inspector is here to give the people what they want, “the truth” as a matter of public record as reported by…

Ted Allen Tonight at Nectar

A reminder to all you forgetful foodies out there: Tonight and tomorrow, Queer Eye For the Straight Guy and Iron Chef America alum Ted Allen will be at Nectar Lounge in  Seminole Casino Coconut Creek, signing copies of his latest cookbook, The Food You Want to Eat: 100 Smart, Simple…

Fun With Dickerdoodles (NSFW)

Penny ArcadeEach year around Christmas, the Mecca of all gaming sites, Penny Arcade, throws a little contest called Dickerdoodles. The concept is pretty simple: A dickerdoodle is essentially a snickerdoodle in the shape of a penis. The object of the contest is to submit the funniest picture of your doughy…

The SoBe Wine & Food Fest Stocking Stuffer

Starting this morning at 9:00 a.m., the South Beach Wine & Food Festival  is offering a week-long 10% discount on all ticket orders (before tax and service fees). The deal closes Friday, December 19, at 5:00 p.m., and all orders placed by this time are guaranteed delivery before Christmas Day…

Free #$%*! Ice Cream!!!

The “Ice Cream Man” a.k.a. Matt Allen is a dude who rolls around the country in an old van named Mitch giving away free ice cream. We caught up with him at O.H.W.O.W Gallery (Our House West of Wynwood) on NW 7th Ave and 32 Street during a Basel week…

First Look At Canyon Ranch Grill

Another day, another restaurant debut. After a soft opening in November, Canyon Ranch Grill  in Canyon Ranch Miami Beach (6900 Collins Ave.) is set to go public. Chef Alex Asteinza oversees the Canyon canon of healthful foods that fit with the spa’s “wellness lifestyle”. Starters, $9 to $16, include: Pumpkin…

News Café Celebrates 20 Years

President Reagan was finishing his second term, Rain Man was the big box office hit, and we were more than a decade away from having heard of Osama or Obama. As much as the world has changed over the past 20 years, South Beach has undergone an even greater transformation…

Roach-Infested Sub Shop

Roaches. Love em’, hate em’, eat em’. Or don’t, at least not at a North Miami Quiznos location (11850 Biscayne Blvd., North Miami). The restaurant was temporarily closed down on December 4 by the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation after inspectors found 12 violations, which they termed “critical.”…

Burger King Brings Whoppers to the Hmong

They’ll have it their way.If you’ve somehow missed Burger King’s hilarious terrible! absolutely terrible! new marketing campaign, where they bring Whoppers to Hmong villagers in remote Thailand, the Inuit of Greenland, and a Transylvanian town in Romania, you have to check this out. Although the campaign generates a seriously sinking feeling (it’s…

The Grill At The Setai Relaunches

The interior of The Grill at The Setai (as well as The Restaurant portion) is arguably one of the most beautiful in Miami-Dade. When it comes to the Zen-like outdoor pods-on-the-pond dining area there is no argument — this is the most beautiful al fresco setting. The cuisine here has…

Morton’s Hatches an Egg

My steak is bigger than your steak.Super-corporate, super-expensive, super-good Morton’s Steakhouse cuts the ribbon on a brand new (and totally unnecessary) Fort Lauderdale branch on December 14. That’s at 500 E. Broward Blvd — which, we suppose, will be a convenient spot for the few local carnivores who always secretly…

UPDATED – Orthodox Candy is a Kashrut Cow!

We get some strange things in the mail from companies looking to pump their products: care packages from popcorn advocacy groups and breath mints designed to help you fake your way out of alcohol-related trouble come to mind immediately. But this candy has to take the unleavened cake. Orthodox Chews…

Cupcakes And Chocolates For Christmas

Four women, two web-based companies, and innumerable sweet holiday gifts that you needn’t leave your house to purchase.,Eileen Sanchez and Evelyn Dieppa are the “cupcake catering duo” of 2 Girls and a Cupcake, and they’e serving up sweet gift ideas for purchase online. The Miami natives describe themselves as “two…

Clive’s Scores at Basel

One of the unheralded winners of the recently concluded Art Basel was Clive’s Café, (2880 No. Miami Ave. and 890 NW 2nd Ave.). The Wynwood location, generally closed for weekend nights, stayed open for the hipster crowd and was jammed. Best option was the jerk chicken ($7.50) – finest we’ve…