Chicago Priests Caught Having Sex in Public on Ocean Drive

Have sex indoors. Do whatever the hell you want as long as it’s consensual and behind closed doors. Don’t have sex in public. Especially don’t have sex on the 1300 block of Ocean Drive in broad daylight on Labor Day. Especially if you are a Catholic priest visiting Miami Beach with another church-affiliated man.

Man Convicted of Key West Bombing Plot Says He Was Just Trying to Make Cocaine

According to the feds, Harlem Suarez was a radical, an extremist, and an imminent danger to the public. In the summer of 2015, a confidential informant recorded the 23-year-old plotting to bomb a public beach in the Florida Keys, and investigators found an arsenal of explosive materials inside his apartment. After a three-month investigation, FBI agents swarmed Key West and charged him with attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction.

Mother Held by ICE Over Traffic Ticket Freed After Posting $20,000 Bond

Earlier this year, New Times detailed the horrific case of Maria, a 24-year-old who fled persecution in Guatemala, gave birth to multiple American children, and wound up jailed in an ICE detention facility in South Florida after she was arrested while trying to pay a $150 traffic fine. Speaking from inside the detention center, Maria told New Times in Spanish that she was allowed to see her three young children only an hour or two each week and that her 9-year-old daughter was afraid she’d also be detained if she visited her mom.

D.C. Organization Threatens to Sue if Coral Gables Keeps License-Plate Readers

If you’ve driven through Coral Gables anytime in the past three years, it’s almost 100 percent certain police have a photo of your license plate and the ability to pinpoint your vehicle as it traveled within city limits. Despite having just 50,000 residents, the Gables is on track to capture 30 million license plates this year — more than 26 other police agencies in South Florida.

Race-Baiting Strip Club Shooter Regrets Acting as His Own Attorney

After gunning down two unarmed black men outside a Miami strip club in 2012, security guard Lukace Kendle claimed the shooting was justified under Florida’s Stand Your Ground law. During the trial, where Kendle chose to act as his own attorney, he compared himself to George Zimmerman and claimed the evidence was fabricated “because I’m white.”

Miami Judge Reportedly Dead After SWAT Standoff, Weeklong Meltdown

Miami-Dade County Administrative Law Judge Timothy Maher was arrested last week for reportedly threatening to shoot his family members in his El Portal home. Then, yesterday, Maher allegedly threatened to kill someone at his federal office, which handles disability and Social Security cases. Maher’s threat was serious enough that the Federal Protective Service evacuated the building.

Miami Instagram Prankster Filmed Himself Fleeing Cops for Nearly Two Months

Social media fame is a race to the bottom. Concepts that seem novel one day get chewed up, memed, and worn out in days in a brutal system that ensures only the most outrageous, shameless people are able to achieve sustained fame. Alex Jones has millions of followers. People think the QAnon conspiracy is real. Teen rapper Tay-K scored a massive hit after writing a song about his capital murder charges.

Miami Gardens Cop Accused of Racism Sues for Anti-White “Discrimination”

Another day, another South Florida cop suing his department because he feels persecuted for being white. Poor guy. In the latest case filed in Miami-Dade court last week, Miami Gardens Police Officer William Dunaske sued the force for “anti-white” harassment. The twist: Dunaske has repeatedly been accused of racism and abuse, and he filed the suit after a fight over why he had named his dog after a black officer in the department.

Colombian Anti-Corruption Head Pleads Guilty to Taking Bribe at Dolphin Mall

Bribing the head of an entire nation’s anti-corruption task force is apparently cheaper and way less glamorous than you might think. Luis Gustavo Moreno Rivera, who was the director of Colombia’s Office of Anti-Corruption, admitted in court today that he could be bought with about $132,000 and that he’d taken a portion of that money inside a bathroom at Miami’s Dolphin Mall.