Miami Beach Commissioners Vote to Ban Casinos From City

For now, the state’s headlong rush to allow more casinos in Miami-Dade looks to be dead in the water. But Miami Beach commissioners aren’t taking any chances when it comes to slot machines in SoBe. The commission voted this morning to push forward a zoning change that would ban all gambling establishments anywhere in the city.

Jeb Bush and Derek Jeter Are Actually Close to Buying the Marlins

Jeb Bush is a Wall Street-worshipping, vengeful political bully who cursed the world with Marco Rubio, birthed a comically failed charter school movement and comes from the most unbearable political family outside of Trump Tower. But compared to Jeffrey Loria, he’s basically a saint. So most Miamians won’t need to…

Solar Panel-Covered Bike Paths Could Be Coming to Miami

Miami is blessed with both a remarkably flat landscape and hundreds of days worth of tropical sunshine. In any logical universe, the Magic City would be a haven for both urban cyclists and solar power. Instead, the 305 is one of the more dangerous biking cities in America and has…

Miami State Sen. Frank Artiles Resigns After Dropping N-Word

Miami state Sen. Frank Artiles unleashed a bigoted tirade against his fellow lawmakers earlier this week, in which he reportedly said state Senate President Joe Negron was a “pussy,” called two Tallahassee lobbyists “faggots,” and used the N-word to refer to six white lawmakers — in front of a black legislator. Earlier this week, he apologized, only to try to fight for his job by continuing to lob insulting letters at his colleagues.

Anger at Kneeling Dolphins Protesters Linked to Racism, New Study Shows

Last September, four Miami Dolphins players joined San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick in kneeling during the National Anthem to raise awareness about police brutality and black inequality. And like clockwork, a whole host of critics got irrationally upset about a few people peacefully protesting for civil rights without hurting anybody.

Nearly 4,000 Demand Frank Artiles Resign for Using N-Word as Protests Begin

Let’s all take a moment to formally congratulate state Sen. Frank Artiles, who has long been one of Florida’s worst politicians, for shooting himself directly in the foot and all but guaranteeing he’ll never win an election again. After years of filing hateful, anti-LGBTQ bills, allegedly punching college kids in the face, smearing Black Lives Matter activists as terrorists…

Is Trump at Mar-a-Lago Yet Again? A New Site Will Let You Know

Donald Trump has been president for only 13 weeks (even if it feels like a brutal half-century in Twitter years), yet he’s already spent seven full weekends at Mar-a-Lago, his beachfront playground for the obscenely wealthy. That’s concerning for all kinds of reasons: the ethics of constantly pumping up a for-profit business run by his family, the security lapses in the sprawling mansion, the costs of protecting the president there.

Trump Might Appoint Apprentice Loser as Miami Prosecutor, So We Watched the Episode Where He Gets Fired

Jose Felix “Pepi” Diaz (not to be confused with Miami-Dade County Commissioner Jose “Pepe” Diaz) was fired after two episodes on the reality show The Apprentice in 2006. He’d been tasked with coming up with a business proposal for Gillette, which was trying to sell some sort of five-razor-blade monstrosity to insecure men. Diaz ended up sleeping in on the day of his pitch and was fired for lack of leadership.

Florida ACLU Sues Homeland Security for Muslim-Ban Records From MIA

For all the debate, tears, and fury that President Trump’s short-lived “Muslim ban” caused, the public actually knows surprisingly little about what happened at airports. The exact techniques Customs and Border Protection agents used before courts quashed the ban have remained secret. And since the ban was suspended in February, Muslims across the nation, including Miami’s Muhammad Ali Jr., have been detained illegally anyway.

Court Upholds $300,000 Fine After Trump Refuses to Pay Miami Paint Store

Donald Trump is so rich. Big-league (bigly?) wealthy. So wonderfully wealthy that he apparently owes a Miami paint store $300,000 for work at his Trump National Doral Miami resort. So wealthy he’s been fighting not to pay that $300,000 since last year. So wealthy that his lawyers officially lost an appeal yesterday and now he’s gotta pay that $300,000 or try to appeal all the way to the Florida Supreme Court.

Ben Carson Got Trapped in a Miami Elevator Today, Proving God Is Real and Hilarious

Nothing can happen in Miami this year that will be funnier than Ben Carson getting stuck inside an elevator today. Nothing. There is no single image more hilarious than the look on Carson’s face as he walked through the elevator’s metal doors at Overtown’s Courtside Family Apartments and then realized they weren’t going to open. Carson and Miami-Dade County Public Housing Director Michael Liu were trapped inside the elevator for a solid 20 minutes this morning while firefighters searched for a way to free the two.

Florida’s Top Democrats Line Up to Support Trump’s Syrian Airstrike

If you were to take the words of Florida Sen. Bill Nelson, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Rep. Ted Deutch, and pretty much any other Democratic congressperson in the Sunshine State at face value, Donald Trump is an unstable, proto-fascist warmonger, uncontrollable narcissist, and serial sexual predator who should never have been able to come near any sort of missile-launching device.

Marco Rubio Is Donald Trump’s Biggest Cheerleader on Syrian Missile Strikes

Marco Rubio spent most of last year lambasting Donald Trump as a “con artist” with tiny genitals who is totally unfit to lead the nation. But since last night, at least, he’s been the Don’s single best spokesman on cable news and the internet. Rubio has been everywhere to loudly defend the Trump administration’s about-face last night away from keeping war criminal Bashar al-Assad in power to dropping Tomahawk missiles on Syrian airfields.

Racist Rich Man Gets to Rewrite the Florida Constitution Thanks to Rick Scott

Carlos Beruff has virtually no political qualifications. He’s rich, openly racist, and good friends with Florida’s governor. The real-estate developer and major political donor ran for U.S. Senate against Marco Rubio last year and lost. In that time, he called Barack Obama an “animal,” called for a ban on all immigration from the Middle East, and reveled in being dubbed the “Cuban-American Donald Trump.” Voters heavily rejected him.

Miami Beach’s Boards and Committees Are Overwhelmingly White

Miami Beach is 53 percent Hispanic, so you’d be forgiven for assuming its 46 boards and committees would reflect those demographics. But a recent survey shows that’s not the case — as of last month, just 17 percent of those appointed by city commissioners were Hispanic. Black residents are also…