Live Blog: Heat vs. Celtics

Have no one to watch tonight’s Heat-Celtics NBA season debut with? You do have someone to watch it with but they don’t provide the same award-winning, rapier-like wit banter you find here on your friendly neighborhood Miami New Times blog?Well, have no fear! Because the Riptide 2.0 Heat vs. Celtics…

Is Chad Ochocinco’s Pigeon-Birthing Saga a Fraud?

Liberty City native and Cincinnati Bengals star Chad Ochocinco has been tweeting up a storm about the bizarre saga of his pregnant pigeon. He even expressed frustration upon learning that pigeons lay eggs and do not give live birth. Today he tweeted pictures of the newly hatched pigeon babies. Problem…

Ricky Williams Dresses as Jason Taylor for Halloween

Oh, girl, who knew Dolphins players could get so catty? And not just wild catty. Ricky Williams showed up at the team’s Halloween bash last night dressed as former teammate Jason Taylor. Poking fun at Taylor’s run on Dancing With the Stars, Williams wore a getup that included a giant…

Computers: Miami Heat Has 100 Percent Chance of Making Playoffs

The NBA regular season kicks off tonight with the Miami Heat taking on the Boston Celetics. Those 82 games seem to be just a formality for the Heat, because AccuScore’s jocky computers have declared that without even 0.1 percent of a doubt, the team will make the playoffs. Though AccuScore doesn’t seem…

LeBron James Teams with Miami Vice‘s Don Johnson for Nike Ad

LeBron James is finally addressing the haters in a sure-to-be-controversial new Nike ad. He’s taking on some serious criticism and calling a certain hater out by name, but the ad ultimately skews light-hearted with a cameo by none other than Miami Vice’s Don Johnson. James asks, “What should I do?”…

Dolphins Get Hosed, Lose Heartbreaker to the Steelers

Just when you think the Miami Dolphins can’t get screwed any harder. Just when you think this team has seen the worst of its ball-clobbering misfortune, comes a loss like yesterday’s 23-22 cockpunch against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Not only did the officiating crew take a monumental shit on the Dolphins…

USA Today Runs Front Page Anti-Heat Propaganda

USA Today sure had a big scoop splashed across its front page today. Apparently, everyone in America outside of Miami hates the Miami Heat. That’s real breaking news there. Someone notify the Pulitzers.At least we did learn a few things. Like the fact that apparently people view the Miami Heat…

Dolphins Lose First-Round Pick Odrick for the Season

The Miami Dolphins have lost the services of rookie defensive end Jared Odrick for the season after he suffered a broken leg during practice on Wednesday. This is the second time Odrick breaks his leg this year. He suffered a hairline fracture during the first game of the season. He…

Action Fight League Holding Audition for MMA Hopefuls

Attention big palookas dreaming of being the next Brock Lesnar! The Action Fight League wants to see if you have what it takes to enter the octagon at the Hard Rock Live. The AFL is hosting an MMA audition this Saturday at its North Miami Beach gym for aspiring mixed…

Prized ‘Canes Recruit Latwan Anderson Ditches Football Team

Latwan Anderson came into the University of Miami as the 15th best recruit of the ’10 recruiting class in the entire nation according to Rivals.com. Now its unclear if he’ll be playing football at Miami, or anywhere for that matter. According to The Herald, Anderson has left the football team…

LeBron James Receives Racist Twitter Message

Yesterday on his Twitter feed, LeBron James re-tweeted criticism from some, let’s call them “disgruntled,” fans. He then proclaimed the day as Hater Day, telling the twitterverse that the haters need their two minutes of fame too. The tweets were your typical everyday re-hashed LeBron affronts. People calling him a…

LeBron James Issues South Beach Edition Sneakers

LeBron James didn’t just take his talents to South Beach, he brought Nike’s design team along with him apparently. The newest Nike Air Max LeBron 8 kicks come in a special edition “South Beach” color way which, of course, means they’re bright turquoise and hot pink. They’re fresher than a…

Bill Parcells Has Left The Building

ESPN is reporting that Miami Dolphins football czar Bill Parcells has packed his bags and moved out of the Dolphins offices. The Dolphins, of course, knew that Parcells was on his way out. But it seems that no one anticipated it to be this soon. Because why would they? Reports…

Dolphins Take Down Packers in Overtime

​Your Miami Dolphins were able to outlast an undermanned Green Bay Packers in a 23-20 overtime win on the road. As usual, the Dolphins kept things interesting, allowing an injury-riddled Packers team to keep things closer than they really should’ve been. Probably because the Dolphins didn’t want the Chilean miners’…

Dolphins at the Packers on Sunday: Keys To Victory

This week, the Miami Dolphins travel to Green Bay, Wisconsin, to face the Packers. Wisconsin, the state that gave us cheese, and Vince Lombardi, and cheese! Want to go to a place that makes Minnesota look exotic? Want to visit a place where the highlight of your trip is visiting…