Miami Heat Lands the Prized Free Agent of 1996

​Even after 14 long years, Pat Riley is a man who gets what he wants. Why? Because he’s Pat Frickin’ Riley, that’s why. The Miami Heat signed free agent forward Juwan Howard yesterday to the veteran’s minimum of $1.4 million. Back in 1996, and with much fanfare, Howard signed a…

Josh Johnson Refuses to Stop Being Awesome

​The Washington Nationals did everything to thwart Marlins ace Josh Johnson this past Saturday. They made him throw 30 pitches in the first inning before he could record his first out. They brought in Stephen Strasburg the previous night to throw some rookie-phenom mojo at him. They even trotted out…

Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union Finally Take Relationship Public

Since at least 2008, Dwyane Wade and Hollywood hottie Gabrielle Union have kept their relationship on the down-low as Wade’s heated divorce from the mother of his children slowly worked its way through the courts. Now that the divorce papers have officially been signed, Wade and Union have acknowledged publicly…

Penny Hardaway Wants to Come Back to the Heat

Penny Hardaway has a lot to be proud of: four times an NBA All-Star, an Olympic gold medalist, and the world’s most memorable basketball puppet. What he doesn’t have, however, is a championship ring. Maybe that’s why he wants to come out of retirement and play, once more, for the…

Steve Carell and Paul Rudd Spoof LeBron James’s Decision

LeBron James’s ESPN special, The Decision, might have resulted in one of the biggest moments in Miami sports history. But let’s not kid ourselves — the whole thing was ridiculous. I mean, Jim Gray’s questions such as “One hand or two?” and “Are you still a nail-biter?” were some of…

Dolphins Receiver’s Truck Found Crashed and Abandoned on I-595

​According to the Palm Beach Post, a pickup truck belonging to Miami Dolphins receiver Brian Hartline was found crashed and abandoned on I-595 earlier this month. Authorities say Hartline’s truck crashed into another abandoned vehicle that was parked on the side of I-595 in the early-morning hours of July 3. FHP…

George Steinbrenner Dead in Tampa After Heart Attack

George Steinbrenner, the man who inspired Larry David’s best recurring cameo on Seinfeld — and, oh yeah, also the tyrannical architect of the hated Yankees dynasty — has died in Tampa. Steinbrenner, who was 80 and in declining health, died early this morning. Because we hate the Yankees and all…

Dolphins Misspell Dwyane Wade’s Name in Congratulatory Ad

The Miami Dolphins aren’t jealous that the Miami Heat pretty much stole their title as the city’s favorite sports team with the signing of Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, and LeBron James. No, sir. In fact, they put a full-page ad in both the Miami Herald and the Sun-Sentinel this weekend…

The Heat are the New Dolphins, Maybe

​​Miami is, by and large, a football town. And the Miami Dolphins are king. This is why the Marlins average only 19 people per game even though they’ve won more championships than the Dolphins in the past 37 years (note: they don’t really average 19 people — more like 12)…