What’s it like to be a fan of the Miami Dolphins? All you need to do is look at the team’s very first drive of Sunday’s clustercrap of a game to know. That or have someone take a crowbar to your crotch, full Gillooly.The Fins opened things with a perfectly…
While we and others were trying to frame today’s game around the question “Is Miami Back?” others, including the ABC/ESPN commentary crew were wondering “Is Miami for real?” Well, if we’re talking matters of reality here, I guess the Hurricanes were proven to be the figment of some possessed 5 year old girl’s…
Miami Dolphins @ San Diego Chargers, Sunday at 4:15 p.m. CBS Right now the Dolphins are looking as lame as those dead, topless fish people in Bayfront yesterday. But, hey, that’s exactly how they looked going into their third game last year. History repeats itself, right? Problem is, they probably don’t have…
Miami Hurricanes @ Virginia Tech Hokies, Saturday 3:30pm on ABCSo after every hater and their mother predicted the Hurricanes would go winless in their ruthless opening schedule, here they are 2-0 and #9 in the nation (and unlike some other teams in the top ten, have fought hard for that…
Before the season began, Jacory Harris promised he’d wear a pink pimp suit to accept the Heisman trophy. Which was funny because (a) pimp suits are always funny and (b) there was no way Harris was actually going to win it this year, right?But with the Miami Hurricanes’ 2-0 start against…
8:38 p.m. wish I was as fast as Dallas Clark…9:02 p.m. @chadaccurate nice pass buddy! Feel like the chemistry is there tonight!9:10 p.m. @ronniecat whats it feel like to run over somebody?9:41 p.m. @chadaccurate no defenders in sight. I’m literally lonely. take a shot in the endzone?9:42 p.m. @chadaccurate oops!…
Troubled Carol City High, which saw six students murdered from a single class and vacillates between Ds and Fs (see the “The Curse”), finally has achieved national ranking. In a study released yesterday by USA Football, a youth and amateur organization, Carol City High tied for second place in number of alumni…
Indianapolis Colts @ Miami Dolphins, tonight at 8:30 p.m. on ESPN WSFL locallyThere have been a lot of superficial changes since the last time the Dolphins played a regular-season game in their home stadium. For one, it’s now named for a Jimmy Buffett-endorsed Corona rip-off beer and undergone a few…
There’s nothing quite like waking up bleary-eyed and hung over to a swift kick in the balls from the Gray Lady. No, seriously, that’s why we subscribe to the New York Times. It’s better than a stiff colada.The Times delivered big-time this weekend, with a Messi-esque shot to the groin in the…
We’re no fan of conspiracy theories here at Riptide. We’re more than happy to leave that to Glenn Beck and his legion of foaming-at-the-mouth birther teabaggers. (By the way, don’t miss out on Glenn’s Howard Beale meltdown this week. Pure comedy! In a scary way.)But Tim Hardaway’s timing this week…
Marlins closer Leo Nunez will never be mistaken for Trevor Hoffman. But since taking over the closer position from god-awful Matt Lindstrom in July, he has done a pretty adequate job, saving 22 games. More important, the man knows how to piss off his opponent. This past Wednesday, the Marlins were in…
I’d like to start off this post commemorating the Hurricanes 33-17 trampling of the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets by quoting from this random NCAA message board:”Miami starts off 0-4, and is very lucky to come up with 6 wins and a bowl bid.””I would even go as far as saying…
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets @ Miami Hurricanes, Tonight at 7:30 p.m. on ESPNSomething kind of weird is happening: Oddsmakers have picked the No. 20 Miami Hurricanes as the favorites going into tonight’s game against No. 14 Georgia Tech. Even ESPN is predicting a Hurricanes win. Obviously, it’s a good kind of…
Ever been in an intimate relationship at work that ended badly? We bet all you wanted to do afterward, in order to escape seeing your thwarted love partner by the copy machine every day at 10 a.m., was find another place to work.They say that a business partnership is a…
Raw > Raw photos from Toronto (Sept. 14, 2009) > No Holds Barred Match_ Batista vs. Randy Orton.jpg” src=”http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/WWE_%20TV%20Shows%20%3E%20Raw%20%3E%20Raw%20photos%20from%20Toronto%20%28Sept.%2014%2C%202009%29%20%3E%20No%20Holds%20Barred%20Match_%20Batista%20vs.%20Randy%20Orton.jpg” height=”293″ width=”491″ />via WWE.comTwo men in latex briefs grappling each other is often the centerpiece of a WresleMania event. We weren’t aware WrestleMania was one of those things cities actually bid…
Miami Dolphins @ Atlanta Falcons, Sunday at 1 p.m. on CBS4. Not to say the Dolphins don’t have some well-deserved swagger, but let’s be real: Out of all the defending division champs, Fins fans’ optimism might be the most muted. We knew last season’s historic turnaround was thanks in no small part…
The AP poll is out, and the Miami Hurricanes are a ranked team once again, while the Florida State Seminoles have been totally knocked off from their former 18th spot. Meanwhile, the Hurricanes’ next three opponents line up one after another in the poll, with Oklahoma at 13, Virginia Tech at…
Forget Montu, the Incredible Hulk, and Space Mountain. Last night’s football game between the Miami Hurricanes and the Florida State Seminoles might have been the best roller coaster the state of Florida has ever had to offer. By the end of it, I wasn’t sure if I was more happy…
After last year’s Lingerie Bowl was canceled when the nudist resort that was hosting it wanted to allow spectators to be au natural, the Lingerie Football League is back for its first full season. Tonight at 8pm your Miami Caliente will take on the Chicago Bliss in the Windy City…
If you ask us, way too many of Will.i.am’s dreams have come true. The Black Eyed Peas’ resident shoddy producer has an ever growing ego, and now he has another modest dream: trying out for the Miami Dolphins. We say let him. Will.i.am took to some website called Dipdive… To brag…
You have to give the Fish some serious credit this year. For the 87th consecutive season, they rank last in the bigs in team salary. But somehow they’ve stayed in the Wild Card hunt. (Quick fun comparison sure to add to the New York Mets fan base’s collective PTSD: If the Mets finished…
Perhaps, if things had worked out differently, Willie Williams could be sitting at an NFL training camp right now. Instead, he’s sitting in jail. Again. He’s behind bars in Lawrenceville, Georgia, after being arrested Thursday on charges of burglary and wreckless driving, according to the Miami Herald. Williams apparently had befriended a…
