The Pros and Cons of Five of Dwyane Wade’s Five Best Career Options

It’s August, and Dwyane Wade has not yet committed to playing for the Miami Heat next season. So it’s officially time to wonder if he will ever play for the Heat again or if, instead, he will choose an alternate ending to his career. He has plenty of options, such as shocking the basketball universe by…

Miami Marlins Cut Ties With Papa John’s After N-Word Scandal

For years, it seemed the Miami Marlins and Papa John’s were a perfect match — consuming both Papa John’s alleged pizza and Marlins’ alleged baseball for hours will leave you feeling exhausted, ashamed, regretful, deeply unsatisfied, and mysteriously sweaty all at once. ‘Twas a partnership forged in the deepest,…

The Five Kinds of Miami Dolphins Fans

Miami Dolphins fans are a proud bunch. Whether you’re a 10-year-old Fins fan who only knows Dan Marino from YouTube mixtapes or a 40-year-old lifer who vividly remembers when the Dolphins making the playoffs wasn’t weird, there’s plenty to feel good about as a Dolphins backer…

The Ten Greatest Miami Heat Players of All Time

Luckily for Miami Heat fans, the NBA offseason feels the shortest of any of the major league breaks. The NBA Finals end toward the end of June, the NBA Draft follows soon after, the free agency rumor mill keeps us busy until August, and before you know it, the preseason…

Ten Signs You’re a Lifelong Marlins Fan

Being a Miami Marlins fan is a lot like being a garbage man: No one truly appreciates you, and they talk about you only when you don’t show up. It’s truly a thankless job. It wasn’t always that way, though. Being a Marlins fan was once cool. The Marlins were the new thing in town, and being a fan of them was your duty as a South Floridian.

The Definitive Ranking of South Florida’s Five Creepiest Mascots

Mascots have somehow been grandfathered in as normal in sports, but many of them closely toe the line between absolute horror show and lovable knockoff Disney character. Locally, we have quite a few that are pushing the envelop of creepiness. We love them, but even the biggest fans have to admit they’re nightmare fuel.

Maybe Jarvis Landry Is Right: Ryan Tannehill Is the Dolphins’ Problem

Jarvis Landry has had a lot to say about the Miami Dolphins since he signed this offseason with the Cleveland Browns for an eye-popping $75.5 million over five years, and none of it has been good. The former Pro Bowl receiver is obviously unhappy the Fins decided he wasn’t worth nearly what the market ended up netting him, and he’s making sure he leaves massive fireballs of exploding cars and demolished buildings in his wake.

Here’s Every Reason Why People Hate Miami Sports Fans

Whatever the reasoning behind it, Miami doesn’t exactly have the greatest reputation in terms of fan bases around the country. Actually, that’s putting it nicely: Most people think sports fans in Miami are a disgrace. They really dislike us. We’re like putting ketchup on eggs. They scoff at us and tell the people who are OK with us that we are actually very bad.

LeBron James’ 15 Best Moments With the Miami Heat

Let’s be completely honest, Miami. Many Heat fans are only now getting over the fact that LeBron James left four years ago to return to his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers. We had to journey through a full 12-step process to reach acceptance, and along the way, many Heat fans had to collect a medallion at each achievement.

Pat Riley Also Probably Has a Secret Twitter Account

Fresh off a playoff beatdown by the Philadelphia 76ers, plenty of salty Miami Heat fans laughed their way through a report in the Ringer this morning that exploded a tactical weapon wielded by Philly’s front office. The story documents how the Sixers’ president of basketball operations, Bryan Colangelo, has almost certainly kept at least five secret Twitter accounts. On them, he has bashed his team’s biggest stars, divulged secret medical information, and, most important, fiercely defended the weirdly gigantic collars he wears.

Five Crazy Moves the Heat Could Make This Off-Season

It’s been only a month since the Miami Heat played its last game of the season — a 104-91 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers in Game 5 of the first round of the playoffs — but it feels like ages. Because the Heat has no picks in next month’s NBA Draft and little to no money to spend in free agency this summer, it seems fans are in for a ho-hum, eventless off-season.

Five Lies Miami Dolphins Fans Hear Every Offseason

If you ask the experts, the Miami Dolphins will be a special sort of bad this season. But if you ask Dolphins fans, many will tell you the team is better off without all the talented players the team jettisoned this off-season.This is pretty much standard procedure in South Florida, where fans take the team’s off-season bait…

Five Reasons the Miami Dolphins Should No Longer Have Cheerleaders

NFL cheerleaders have been in the news lately, and not for the right reasons. In April, the New York Times published a story in which cheerleaders from around the NFL told how sexual harassment, groping, and an overall lack of respect were almost a part of their job description. They were expected to escort high-paying season ticketholders and donors to functions. If they refused, they would be fired.