Ray Allen Will Wear “Jesus Shuttlesworth” Heat Jersey

The most anticipated merchandising ploy of the NBA season is almost upon us: The Miami Heat will soon debut its “nickname” jerseys that will swap out, well, nicknames for the players’ last names on the back of their jerseys. Knicks fan Spike Lee, of all people, apparently got one of…

Heat Wins. LeBron’s Ankle Loses. Pacers Tomorrow.

It was the game before the game last night. It was sandwiched between LeBron’s old team and the Heat’s biggest threat in the East. It was the 117-94 Heat win Monday night game against the Jazz, because people had already bought tickets, and it was mandatory…

Dolphins Win. Michael Thomas Intercepts. Maybe It Is Our Time.

After 7 straight losses against the Pats dating back to 2009, the Miami Dolphins held strong against Tom Brady and a Pats team that had feasted all year on last-minute comebacks. As the Dolphins took the lead with 1:15 to go, the feeling in every Dolphins fan’s stomach was “Oh…

Patriots at Dolphins: Tom Brady Has Pretty Hair Preview

The Dolphins ride into what is the most important game of the season on a 2-game winning streak, with a patchwork o-line working better than the one originally envision, a running game finally getting results and ascending play from young Ryan Tannehill. Last week was a statement game by this…

15 Names for Miami’s New Soccer Team

Come next Tuesday, Miami will likely be one step closer to getting its first real Major League Soccer team (sorry, Fusion, but Fort Lauderdale doesn’t count). That’s when county commissioners will vote on whether to allow Mayor Carlos Gimenez to identify possible stadium locations and enter talks with private developers…

Heat Blow Early Lead, Lose To Pacers 90-84

The Indiana Pacers have had this one circled on their calendars for some time now. They made no secret December 10th, 2013 would be a day of reckoning, a day when they would inflict revenge upon the Miami Heat’s entire house for all the heart-breaking defeats the team has handed…

Jeff Ireland Reportedly Told His Job Is Safe

Jeff Ireland might be the luckiest man in the NFL. Even after the embarrassing Incognito affair, the general manager has reportedly been told by owner Stephen Ross that his job is safe. The news may come as the Dolphins remain firmly in the race for a wildcard spot in the…

Heat Whoops Pistons; Indiana Game on Tuesday

The good news for the Detroit Pistons was the temperature at tip — a brisk 25 degrees, meant the big fat dish of revenge the Miami Heat served was cold. The bad news: The game was broadcast on television, and everyone saw what happens when the Heat gets another shot…

Space Jam 2 Starring LeBron James: A Humble Sequel Idea

Yesterday came news that LeBron James would be starring in his very first movie. It’s a basketball comedy co-starring comedian Kevin Hart, and not, to the dismay of nostalgic millenials, the sequel to the Michael Jordan and Loney Tunes ’90s classic Space Jam that the world deserves. Dreams of a…

Heat Swamped by Bulls: We Don’t Even Know This Team

With Chris Andersen missing Thursday night’s game against the Chicago Bulls due to personal reasons, and Dwyane Wade missing the game because of the flu, the Miami Heat decided to honor their fallen teammates by showing a sign of unity, and completely didn’t show up. If you missed the late…

LeBron James to Co-Star in Kevin Hart Movie

Well, it’s not quite Space Jam 2, but LeBron James is finally coming to the big screen in a staring role. According to Deadline Hollywood, the Chosen One has been chosen to co-star in a movie with diminutive comedian Kevin Hart…

Absolutely No One Went To This Week’s Florida Panthers Game

There are many possible explanations for what occurred Tuesday night — but really, only one makes sense. It could have been the fact that the Panthers-Senators game unfolded on a Tuesday night, which is the worst night imaginable for professional athletics. Or perhaps it was the matter that the Ottawa…

Miami Heat Boasts Its Bench Could Make the Playoffs

Let’s imagine a terrible scenario in which the Miami Heat’s five starters all magically develop some sort of injury that collectively keeps all five out until the playoffs, Would the team even make the playoffs? Dwyane Wade and Udonis Haslem thinks the bench players could get them there on their…

Win Streak No More: Pistons Beat Heat 107-97

Once again the Miami Heat replaced its regular brand of basketball with Equate for three quarters, except this time the rabid fourth quarter run fell short . The Pistons stormed out to a double-digit lead early, took an 11 point lead into the half, and survived the Heat’s fourth quarter…

Man Shot With Cannon at UM Football Game Is Suing

Touchdown Tommy has been one of the University of Miami’s most memorable traditions since 1945. After each Canes football score, members of the Sigma Chi fraternity fire a small cannon in celebration. Seniors shoot blanks out of the wheeled piece of artillery in the corner of Sun Life Stadium, near…