The NBA off-season is less “off” and more a whole different full season as teams frantically try to keep up with the Joneses during a down time that begins just days after the finals. This week, free agency opened and teams began signing the players they think could put them…
When the Heat signed Chris “Birdman” Andersen in January, Riptide chuckled and called the move a “long shot to fix the Miami Heat’s rebounding woes but… a lead-pipe lock to fix the lack of hilarious people on the Heat.” We Dewey-defeats-Truman’d that one. Birdman re-energized the entire squad, ripped down…
Well, tasteful male nudity has kept Don Bailey Carpets in business for all these years, so the fact that the Miami Marlins’ sole remaining star, Giancarlo Stanton, decided to strip down to his birthday suit for ESPN Magazine’s annual Body Issue could only help the Marlins’ ticket sales. Pics after…
Colin Kaepernick just led the San Francisco 49ers to an NFC championship, but yesterday he had another team on his mind. Last season’s breakout QB was spotted wearing a Miami Dolphins hat at a Fourth of July party…
Tim Hardaway, the man who once proudly and loudly proclaimed, “I hate gay people,” is now the first Floridian to sign a new petition to put gay marriage back on the ballot in the Sunshine State…
Ah, high school — easier times for most of us. Our daily concerns back then seem so insignificant now. Your biggest worry was making sure you weren’t bored and somehow stayed awake through terrible classes. Also, most things that were hilarious back then don’t seem so funny anymore. Our compilation…
The signs were everywhere during Washington Nationals home games last month. One read “ZOMBIE MODE” with red-ink blood dripping from the letters. Another showed a baseball with a chunk bitten out of it and “Eat Face Win!” In fact, drop the hashtag #EatFace into Twitter this second and you’ll find…
Perhaps even more so than in America, baseball is the national past time in Cuba. So, you’d figure when an entire MLB game aired on Cuban TV for the first time in more than 50 years, some of the population might have been excited. Eh, apparently not. Most of the…
In a sad way, the Miami Marlins pretty stellar performance during the month of June only underscores how utterly horrible the team played during April and May. The Marlins’ 14-9 record during June was actually the second-best record during the month in the National League (only behind the Padres), and…
The three-pointer that sent Game 6 of the NBA Finals to overtime might be well be the shot of Ray Allen’s career, but that doesn’t mean it will be the last big-game trey he knocks down for the Heat. Allen just exercised a $3.2 million option to stay with the…
Demetrius Jackson hasn’t actually played in a single high school football game yet, but next year he’ll be playing for the Miami Hurricanes. Jackson officially committed to the school today…
It’s been a decade since a University of Miami Hurricane went in the NBA Draft’s first round. But this year’s edition of the Canes made history by winning the ACC outright and rolling into the tournament’s Sweet Sixteen, so it’s appropriate that their star would land higher in the draft…
It’s almost as if the school isn’t in the midst of a never-ending NCAA investigation. According to 24/7 Sports’ composite rankings of the major recruiting services, Al Golden has amassed the fourth best recruiting class for 2014 in the nation. The team moved up nine places since the last standings…
People already want to know how the Miami Heat will go from “Re-Heat” to “Three-Heat,” something only three teams (L.A., Boston, and Chicago) have done. How will they keep the motivation at the same level it’s been during the past three seasons? How do they circumvent salary cap restrictions enough…
Talk about unsportsmanlike conduct. The Super Bowl Champion Baltimore Ravens threw massive shade at the Miami Heat today on their official Facebook and Twitter accounts by posting some selective side-by-side shots of the Miami Heat’s championship parade and their own Super Bowl celebration. See also: Miami Heat Championship Parade 2013…
Oh, you didn’t think that the Miami Marlins payroll could get any lower? Well, multiple reports indicate that the team is looking to trade away pitcher Ricky Nolasco, who is by far the highest paid player on the team. In fact the $11.5 million he’s making this year makes up…
In Europe, it’s not uncommon to sign promising kids to pro contracts well before their voice changes. Real Madrid signed a 7-year-old prodigy a couple of years ago, and Arsenal supposedly talked about giving a youth contract to former star Robin van Persie’s 5-year-old kid, the spectacularly named Shaqueel Van…
What an incredible roller-coaster ride the Miami Heat took us on this season, filled with twists and turns, ups and downs, and in the end, utter satisfaction. It’s rare that a sequel out-awesomes the original, but the 2013 Miami Heat season did just that. It was The Dark Knight of…
Chris Bosh: intergalactic space prince, man of a million video bombs, certified velociraptor-ostrich hybrid, Aubrey Plaza’s own personal Jesus, two-time NBA champion, and just a dude who has a hard time with confetti…
Things began getting rowdy around 7:30 in anticipation of Game 7. Hordes of white-clad Miami Heat fans crossed Biscayne Boulevard en masse, pissing off the cops who tried in vain to control traffic outside the American Airlines Arena. Parents with strollers rolled up to outlandishly costumed men to Instagram awkward…
LeBron James’ phone number has leaked on the internet, and this morning he woke up to a bunch of random voicemails from people named Drake, Warren Buffet, Dr. Dre, and Coach K. Or at least that’s the conceit of his latest Nike ad…
Miami New Times staff went to American Airlines Arena last night on a mission: to show the world the passion, energy, and demonic Birdman costumes that Miami Heat fans were bringing to Game 7. Heat Nation didn’t let us down. See also: Miami Heat Fans Celebrate 2013 NBA Championship (Photos)…
