In Europe, it’s not uncommon to sign promising kids to pro contracts well before their voice changes. Real Madrid signed a 7-year-old prodigy a couple of years ago, and Arsenal supposedly talked about giving a youth contract to former star Robin van Persie’s 5-year-old kid, the spectacularly named Shaqueel Van…
What an incredible roller-coaster ride the Miami Heat took us on this season, filled with twists and turns, ups and downs, and in the end, utter satisfaction. It’s rare that a sequel out-awesomes the original, but the 2013 Miami Heat season did just that. It was The Dark Knight of…
Chris Bosh: intergalactic space prince, man of a million video bombs, certified velociraptor-ostrich hybrid, Aubrey Plaza’s own personal Jesus, two-time NBA champion, and just a dude who has a hard time with confetti…
Things began getting rowdy around 7:30 in anticipation of Game 7. Hordes of white-clad Miami Heat fans crossed Biscayne Boulevard en masse, pissing off the cops who tried in vain to control traffic outside the American Airlines Arena. Parents with strollers rolled up to outlandishly costumed men to Instagram awkward…
LeBron James’ phone number has leaked on the internet, and this morning he woke up to a bunch of random voicemails from people named Drake, Warren Buffet, Dr. Dre, and Coach K. Or at least that’s the conceit of his latest Nike ad…
Miami New Times staff went to American Airlines Arena last night on a mission: to show the world the passion, energy, and demonic Birdman costumes that Miami Heat fans were bringing to Game 7. Heat Nation didn’t let us down. See also: Miami Heat Fans Celebrate 2013 NBA Championship (Photos)…
You’re a freshly crowned, back-to-back NBA champ. The world is your oyster, and you’re in one of the greatest party cities on Earth. Where do you live it up? LeBron, D-Wade, Ray Allen, and Udonis Haslem all celebrated their new rings at Story Nightclub in South Beach, dancing onstage with…
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddd STILL NBA Champions of the Woooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrlddddddddd. Your Miami Heat are once again on top of the basketball world, beating San Antonio in Game 7 of the NBA Finals 95-88. LeBron James takes home his second straight Finals MVP award, capping off the series with a legendary 37-point, 12-rebound performance…
These crazy finals are leaving fans on both sides praying before tonight’s Game 7, but the San Antonio Express-News took it to church in its pages today…
The past 24 hours have been a mierda monsoon for Miami Heat fans. Forty-nine states are rooting against our boys. Meanwhile, the national media love to portray us as a bunch of rich pingas in Porsches. Even Chris Bosh (rightly) tore into those weak-ass Lil Wayne-like fans who left Game…
“From nobody to upstart. From upstart to contender. From contender to winner. From winner to champion. From champion to dynasty.” — Pat Riley Game 7, the two greatest words in sports. Tonight the Miami Heat will stand 48 minutes from back-to-back championships, while at the same time standing just 48…
While today’s public sports fan debate centers on the quality of Miami Heat fans, The New York Times’ resident stats geek Nate Silver decided to focus on the quality and quantity of NHL fans last month. His conclusion: The Florida Panthers should either move to Canada or be eliminated…
Listen, America: We agree with you. Every single person who filed out of the AA Arena early last night and missed Ray Allen’s Planet Earth-shattering three-pointer deserves all the shame heaped upon them. Each and every Heat “fan” who then tried to elbow their way back into the arena when…
See you Thursday night. With less than three seconds left and the Heat down three, the ball found Ray Allen in the corner, and he buried it, sending the game into overtime and sending fans’ hearts into their esophaguses. Miami went on to win in overtime 103-100 in what might…
Despite the fact the Miami Heat are a hope, a prayer and two games away from their second championship of the LeBron James era, new pics of LeBron’s next Nike sneaks supposedly leaked on the Internet today. The shoes refer to him as a “two-time champion.”…
After the success of their “Call Me Maybe” video last year, the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders are back this summer to lip-sync for their lives to Taylor Swift’s “22.” The video, which features a wardrobe of bikinis, was filmed in the Dominican Republic during the cheerleading squad’s recent 2014 calendar photo…
The term “must-win” is rather carelessly thrown about in sports. Following the Heat’s Game One loss to the Chicago Bulls in the East Semi-Finals, the term popped up because one could not fathom the Heat going down 0-2 to Chicago, much less losing both home games to start the series…
Olympus is now one game away from falling. The Miami Heat stuck to the script and followed their Game Four win with a loss, dropping Game Five to the Spurs 114-104. We had a game mid-way through the third quarter, then San Antonio candy crushed the Miami Heat’s entire life…
Chris Bosh woke up last night and helped the Heat to a monster victory over the San Antonio Spurs, but it appears his flopping game is still a little rusty. NBA officials announced Bosh would be fined $5,000 for flopping during a play late in the first half…
The Hurricanes football season is still a few months away, but EA Sports already thinks they know who will be the ten best players for the Miami Hurricanes next year. The video game company unleashed details of its upcoming NCAA Football ’14 video game at industry showcase E3 this week,…
Dwyane Wade and LeBron James combined for 65 points last night and Chris Bosh scored 20 to lead the Miami Heat to a critical series-equalizing, 109-93 Game Four win. Phewww! The win guarantees the series will end in Miami, as the Heat takes back the home-court advantage it earned with…
Depending on which Bosh you ask, the Bosh family home may or may not be for sale. Chris Bosh told The Sun-Sentinel that he was planning to put his North Bay Road mansion on sale. His wife, Adrienne Bosh, took to Twitter last night to say that it wasn’t listed…
