Jameis Winston Suspended for Having Worst Taste in Memes

Star quarterback Jameis Winston was suspended for half a game this week for shouting “Fuck her right in the pussy” around FSU’s campus. There are probably think pieces or at least pointed tweets to write about how Winston caught more punishment for this than some of his other alleged misdeeds…

Six Reasons Nobody Goes to Miami Hurricanes Games at Sun Life

When the Hurricanes announced their “Go to Fewer Games!” campaign before the season began, this is not what they meant. This past Saturday, the paid crowd of 41,519 for the Hurricanes’ 41-20 win over Arkansas State looked like half that number in cavernous Sun Life Stadium, and it was a…

Here’s What That Fastball Did to Giancarlo Stanton’s Face

Giancarlo Stanton, the Marlins’ sole source of hope, was escorted off the field last week after getting nailed in the face by a fastball thrown by Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Mike Fiers in an incident that later almost triggered a bench-clearing brawl. A fastball to the face is no small injury,…

Six Reasons the Dolphins Big Win Sunday Wasn’t a Fluke

So, was that legit? Dolphins fans have to be asking themselves that question this week as the glow wears off from the Phins 33-20 ass-punting of the New England Patriots. After watching the Dolphins start 3-0 last year, then darf-and-barf away the season in every way possible, you really can’t…

Dolphins Made Tom Brady Cry With Epic Week-One Comeback Win

Yes, Fins fans. That really happened. Sunday was not a weird acid flashback to your Dan Marino druggie glory days. The Dolphins scored 33 points, the Patriots scored only 20, and Tom Brady even got a little weepy on the bench at the end. See also: Photos from the Patriots…

Five Things We Learned From the Miami Hurricanes’ Blowout Loss

We waited eight months for that? This past Monday, Hurricanes fans got a glimpse of their 2014 squad in a nationally televised 31-13 blowout loss to the Louisville Cardinals. The fans were not impressed. The play was much the same as what we saw all last season, which was incredibly…

Dwyane Wade, Gabrielle Union Married at Redland Castle

Though the security and secrecy surrounding Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union’s wedding was tight, it turns out the pair got married at a moat-surrounded castle in the Redland. Yet despite the signed confidentiality agreements, key details about #TheWadeUnion still leaked. See also: Castle With a Moat in the Redland Selling…

Marlins Should Offer Giancarlo Stanton $200 Million

Tonight the Miami Marlins should call up Giancarlo Stanton’s agent and offer the ballplayer a $200 million contract. Yes, tonight. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not this off-season. Tonight. It’s becoming increasingly clear that one surprisingly not-totally-crappy Miami Marlins season is not enough to convince Giancarlo Stanton that Miami is…

Five Questions Heading Into the Dolphins’ Last Preseason Game

The Miami Dolphins complete their preseason schedule tonight against the St.Louis Rams, and a lot of questions still remain. Entering the 2014-15 season, the team wants to change its mediocre ways and get back into the playoffs for the first time still 2010. If that is to happen, a lot…

Miami Hurricanes Season Opener: Five Things to Watch

The Miami Hurricanes will kick off their 2014-15 football season Labor Day against the Louisville Cardinals in a rematch of their 36-9 Russell Athletic Bowl loss this past December. Much has changed in just a few short months — both teams will sport new quarterbacks and many different starters this…