The World Cup is only three days away, yet the buzz in America hasn’t been about our boys beating Nigeria in our final warmup match over the weekend. Instead, everyone keeps talking about how American soccer fans are full of shit. The New York Times says we’re a bunch of…
Shhhhhhhhhh, you hear that? That’s the sound of all the LeBron James cramp memes being deleted from all the Twitter accounts. If you put your ear to your computer screen, you can actually hear the little Instagram heart likes breaking into a thousand pieces and falling to the floor. Welcome…
Both teams tried to “beat the Heat” last night. Only one succeeded. The Heat dropped game one of the NBA Finals 110-95 in a matchup where Miami lost its biggest star, LeBron James, midway through the fourth quarter due to cramps that flared up for one reason: the Spurs’ A/C…
Even as LeBron James stands just four wins away from his third NBA championship, his popularity among the American sports populace has still not returned to what it was when he was a ringless superstar toiling away in Cleveland. ESPN tracks scientific poll numbers each year for which NBA players…
Happy finals, Heat fans! It’s June, so you know what that must mean — your Miami Heat is just a handful of wins away from an NBA title. At this point, Heat fans should treat game one of the NBA Finals like a holiday and get one another presents, maybe…
The England fan had a flag draped across his shoulders, a beer in each hand, and had just finished bellowing a song at a passing group of Ecuador supporters when he glanced around at Sun Life Stadium’s dim concourse and echoed what many Three Lions backers surely felt at halftime…
“There has never been a player-owner, but maybe?” David Beckham says during a BBC documentary set to air next week, and that’s all it takes to fuel speculation that the retired superstar may be considering playing for the team he brings to Miami. See also: Miami Hurricanes Will Not Be…
The Miami Hurricanes football team will not be moving to a stadium closer to their Coral Gables campus anytime soon. After pondering the idea of joining forces with David Beckham’s MLS team to split a new stadium, the school has decided it will stay put at Sun Life Stadium. That’s…
The problem with having your wedding on the beach is that just a few meters from your ceremony any old random schlub could be sitting on a beach towel oiling themselves up. Though one couple got lucky this weekend on Miami Beach when that random schlub turned out to be…
The Miami Heat must break the Indiana Pacers tonight. It’s time to rid themselves of, as Ray Allen would say, the Pacers “buffoonery.” It’s damn time to get this Pacers team out of our lives, and move onto an NBA Finals rematch against either the Oklahoma City Thunder or San…
There are people in sports with names like Isaako Aaitui (a Dolphins tackle), Thabo Sefolosha (Oklahoma City Thunder guard), and Jarome Arthur-Leigh Adekunle Tig Junior Elvis Iginla (a Boston Bruins right wing), yet it’s Dwyane Wade’s little ten-letter name that is spelled incorrectly most often. The Wall Street Journal compiled…
If the officials weren’t enough to make Heat fans want to throw a potted plant into their TV sets Wednesday night, Lance Stephenson put them over the edge. In game five’s 93-90 loss, Stephenson put on a display of some of the most obnoxious, childish, and overall disgusting behavior you…
With all respect to grandmothers everywhere, sitting with your grandma on a sofa as she talks about what is on TV is usually not the world’s greatest thing. (Mine used to attempt to clue me in on the plot of whatever Lifetime movie she was watching. Apparently the emotionally distant…
The Miami Hurricanes and Florida Gators met on the football field every year for 49 years out of 50 until, as ‘Canes fans are quick to tell you, the Gators decided to end the rivalry in ’87. The two teams have only met a handful of times since, but it…
Don’t start none, won’t be none. Lance Stephenson, you picked the wrong dude, bruh. LeBron James farted thunder and shit lightning all Memorial Day long on his way to a 32-point, ten-rebound, five-assist night that was full of King Cobra hissssssss and the perfect rebuke to Stephenson’s talk before the…
Happy Memorial Day Miami Heat fans! Let’s basketball, shall we? The Heat are back at it tonight at the American Airlines Arena, with tip off set for 8:30. The Heat are in a position to take a commanding 3-1 series lead after a Ray Allen three-point barrage filled fourth quarter…
To all those who insist Miamians are fair-weather sports fans, we present Andy Salgado. Like many Miami Marlins fans, Salgado was expecting pitching phenom José Fernández to push the team into the playoffs this year. The reigning Rookie of the Year had started his second season as strongly as his…
Today Miami Beckham United unveiled plans for what a soccer stadium sitting on land currently occupied by a boat slip next to American Airlines Arena would look like. With backing from both County Mayor Carlos Gimenez and City Mayor Tomas Regalado, the site has become the frontrunner for a new…
The Miami Dolphins are the exact opposite of fine wine, cheese and that hot cougar who lives down the street. They’re only getting worse with age, and it’s backed up by data. Data journalist Rob Barry pointed out on his website that the Fins are one of only two teams…
The Miami Dolphins have abandoned their plan to hand over ownership of Sun Life Stadium to the county in exchange for tax breaks in favor of a new compromise that would see the county offering incentive payments to the team for every major event booked in the stadium. See also:…
The Miami Heat beat the Indiana Pacers 87-83 in another thriller Tuesday night and in turn stole home-court advantage in the series heading into Saturday night’s matchup in Miami. The win basically deletes the meaning of the entire regular season, taking away home court from the first-seed Pacers and placing…
Rejoice, University of Miami Hurricanes fans and local documentary aficionados: The U is getting an official sequel. The original, which details the rise and fall of the University of Miami’s football program from the ’80s until the early ’90s, has become a sports doc cult hit and one of the…
