Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke — who is a candidate for Miami-Dade mayor — has a few words for Florida…
Entering the last two weeks of the special election season, we’ve compiled a list of the folks who are collecting a steady paycheck from the candidates running for mayor and two county commission seats. The usual suspects are again banking on the business of electioneering. Here are political operatives who…
Letters from the issue of May 12, 2011
Casinos, pot, and fun will save Miami’s economy
Fox News’ Sean Hannity dedicated 10-minutes of his program last night to shit on Common, and criticize Michelle Obama for inviting the “controversial rapper and poet” to her White House Poetry Night.In typical “fair and balanced” fashion, Hannity even invited two black guys to discuss the “running list of controversial…
UPDATE: Univision says candidates invited to its forum were invited based on the amount of money they’ve raised for their campaigns and not because of their Cubaness. You’d expect a state-run university in Cuba to exclude candidates from participating in a public forum, but not one in Miami-Dade County, U.S.A…
Remember Fall Out Boy, that quartet of silly midwestern emo dudes who shoved power chords down our throats in the early 2000s? Well, they’re on an indefinite hiatus. (Blame it on Ashley “Yoko” Simpson.) But their longtime chubby frontman, Patrick Stump, has a solo album due out this summer, and…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke — who is a candidate for Miami-Dade mayor — lays out his vision for kick-starting the local…
Could The Real Swamp Snakes of Everglades City or America’s Next Top Invasive Species be coming to your television set anytime soon? Possibly. Over the next two months, not one, but two cable channels are set to roll out reality television shows based on snakes living in the swamps of…
Sometimes you’re so hungry you believe you can devour everything on a menu and then some. The next time that feeling hits, head to one of these restaurants to take on an epic battle of man and food. Your friends might say they are disgusted after watching you muck down…
Early voting begins today. That means in 15 days we will know who the next Miami-Dade Mayor is. Will it be the Hialeah snake oil salesman ward boss, the ex-fire chief, the Tulane-educated lawyer, or Miami’s favorite uncle? And whoever wins, will he still be a strong mayor or will voters…
The folks over at conservative glossy The Weekly Standard think Luther Campbell’s run is serious enough to warrant a 7,228-word profile. Writer Matt Labash spent a considerable amount of time shadowing Campbell early in his campaign. Kudos to his editors for allowing him the space to explore the complexities that…
In honor of that annual American tradition taking place Saturday at 6:24 p.m, the Kentucky Derby, Short Order has compiled a list of the top five dishes made with the dinner of champions: horse meat. Now, before you let your preconceived notions and ethnocentric American ideals take over, check out…
For someone who is the presumed front runner in the race to become the new Miami-Dade Mayor, Julio Robaina is showing he has no backbone. He’s been conspicuously AWOL from candidate forums where he knows he’ll face a tough crowd and skipped out on his interview with The Miami Herald…
Crossfade loves a good laugh at the wonderful, weird range of human expression. Hence, last week’s deep anthropological studies on the phenomena that are these five crazy dances. Or the amazingness that is Mexican tribal guarachero and its related fashion. But that was just scratching the surface in the contemporary world…
A Miami-Dade County commissioner wants us to know that $790,000 is a “little bit of money and not a whole lot.” During the May 3 discussion concerning the Public Health Trust’s executive board, Javier Souto digressed from one of his typical winded soliloquies on the role of county commissioners to…
Despite repeated CPR attempts by Nas, it appears hip-hop officially flatlined last week, suffering a painful, humiliating death at the hands of an assailant known as Soulja Boy. The murderer suffers from a massive delusional disorder and he’s known for many inexplicable acts, such as smearing Wite-Out all over his sunglasses, basically…
Luther Campbell doesn’t just have taxing strippers and decriminalizing marijuana on his mind. This past April 25, as he cruised from one special event to another in downtown Miami, the county mayoral candidate and New Times columnist offered up his plan for local government reform. “If you run for office,…
Letters from the issue of May 5, 2011
Miami’s black commissioners must go
Happy Cinco de Mayo, chingones! Pardon our French — er, Mexican — but tequila does that to you. Anyway, that fifth day of May is upon us once again. And you know what that means … It’s time to boisterously celebrate Mexico’s Independence Day. Even though that’s not really until…
There’s no better way to express pure joy than the art of song. So when the news broke on Sunday that Obama had killed Osama, a giddy mob of superpatriotic Americans flocked to special spots like the White House, Ground Zero, and Times Square to musically convey its overwhelming excitement…
