Jeffrey Loria Shouldn’t Sell Any Marlins Players Before He Unloads the Team

It’s only May, and already yet another Miami Marlins season is circling the toilet bowl. In the grand scheme of things, this is neither surprising nor all that troublesome. Few people in Miami are losing sleep over the Marlins’ nightly debacles. And those who do care have seen worse and in an odd way have come to embrace the fact that this is who they are — fans of an irrelevant baseball team counting down the days until the season is over.

Is Donald Trump Screwed? Just Ask Bill Clinton

The appointment of former FBI director Robert Mueller as the special prosecutor overseeing the investigation into Donald Trump’s campaign ties to Russia dooms the president. Just look at the last time a big-time lawyer was appointed to investigate a commander-in-chief.

The Dolphins Should Sign Jarvis Landry to a Long-Term Contract Right Now

The narrative surrounding the Miami Dolphins has changed. Around this time last year, the Fins were the butt of everyone’s jokes. They were an annual disappointment. Fans were lucky to even be disappointed, because that meant that at some point, the team had at least tricked you into expecting something from it. For years, Miami sat by and watched other NFL fans open presents, while they got nothing.

Frank Artiles’ Nine Most Abhorrent Moments as a Politician

Both Republicans and Democrats are now glad former State Senator Frank Artiles is gone. Democrats hated him for being an outright bigot, and Republicans mostly just hated him because he made them look bad. But, either way, after dropping the N-word in front of a black colleague and becoming a…

Jose Fernandez Deserves a Statue at Marlins Park

Everyone rightfully hates Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, so it’s easy to immediately hate his decision to build a ten-foot bronze statue in honor of Jose Fernandez. And plenty of people did just that. The Miami Herald’s Fabiola Santiago accused Loria of “cashing in” on the ballplayer’s death, while Fox Sports Radio’s Ben Maller argued that anyone who killed two other people while high and drunk doesn’t deserve such a public honor.

Miami Heat Should Trade for Carmelo Anthony

New York Knicks President Phil Jackson made it pretty clear Friday that ten-time NBA All-Star Carmelo Anthony is on the trading block when he told reporters that Melo “would be better off somewhere else.” Let the negotiations with teams that would like to acquire his services begin! Even though Melo and Jackson haven’t seen eye-to-eye, it was pretty stunning to see him straight-up announce that his best player and future Hall of Fame forward is a goner.

Lane Kiffin Already Has Florida’s Best Coaching Staff at FAU

The best college football coaching staff in Florida has just set up camp in Boca Raton, and that should concern University of Miami Hurricanes fans. Florida Atlantic University’s new head coach, Lane Kiffin, has brought in top-tier assistants who put the Owls on the ESPN highlight reel. The Owls’ spring practice shows that the Lane Train is moving fast to make FAU a respectable program.

Alonzo Mourning Helped Ben Carson With Miami Dog-and-Pony Show

Donald Trump’s token black friend Ben Carson came through Miami yesterday to tour public housing projects with two other token African Americans, Rep. Frederica Wilson and Miami Heat executive Alonzo Mourning. The highlight of the HUD secretary’s day came when and six other federal bureaucrats got stuck in an elevator…

Quick, Somebody “Saaave” Miami From Estrella Insurance’s Sexist Ads!

“Miami is an ass town.” Years ago, an American expat in Miami used that phrase to point out what I, a Cuban-American Miami native, hadn’t seen with my own eyes. ¿Que se se habrá creído el gringo comemierda este? I thought he was full of shit. But he was right. And Estrella Insurance’s ongoing sexist ad campaign is the latest in a long line of proof.

Katherine Fernandez Rundle, Miami’s Top Prosecutor, Is a Disgrace

Miami-Dade County has had the same prosecutor since Bill Clinton was president. Beginning in 1993, through the Clinton, Bush, Obama, and now Trump eras, she has not once charged a police officer for an on-duty killing. What Katherine Fernandez Rundle, age 67, has done instead is make decades’ worth of excuses for public officials accused of corruption and murder.