MP3 of the Day: “Totally Tanya” by Dynas

Broward-based MC Dynas is one of the local hip-hop underground’s stealth forces. He may not perform every weekend at the usual suspect venues, but when he surfaces, it’s always with something worth stopping to listen to. Raised in New York City, his style is stamped with his hometown’s golden-era lyricism…

Friday Food Funnies: Calvin Trillin On A Chinese Dinner In Hell

The Tummy Trilogy, the 1994 compilation of Calvin Trillin’s three food books (American Fried; Alice, Let’s Eat; and Third Helpings), contains enough funny — and brilliant — observations on eating to fill Friday Food Funnies for years. There is certainly no other food writer that can play on the same…

Notes From the Soundboard: Something Blue

To read past installments of Notes from the Soundboard, click here. One constant theme of this column is a fixation on bands and artists that somehow fell through the cracks that occur within pop music’s lengthy trajectory. That’s one hazard of rock’s rich repertoire — so many artists, but so…

Maggotron and DXJ Miami Bass Video Hits Collection

As long as we’re talkin’ bout Maggotron, we might as well do the right thing and put some of his sounds in your earholes. Get ready for robot voices, vocoder effects, screw type vocals, movie quotes, scratch noises, more cowbell, and the drum patterns that now define old school…

Letters from the Issue of August 6, 2009

Boxed In Loved it so much she’s afraid: “Million Dollar Maybe” (Natalie O’Neill, July 30) was great — just crazy-cool. It makes me want to cry to see a woman so strong and determined. You go, girl! Good thing I saw Christina Swanson’s pic, so I know not to mess…

Miami Social: Who the Hell Text Messages About Abortion?

George and Martha of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Burt Pugach and Linda Riss of Crazy Love. Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan of Us Weekly. Pop culture is full of quite literally insane couples who manage to stay together no matter how much we’re secretly rooting for their relationship’s demise…

National Mustard Day Miami Restaurant Survey

Break out your plastic containers, glass jars, and individual size serving packets of that funky yellow condiment America loves. Today is National mustard day. Soon Biscayne Boulevard will be engulfed in a roaring flood of that French’s. Dijon fights will erupt spontaneously in parking lots across Hialeah. Kids all over…

Throwback Tuesdays: Saigon Kick – “I Love You”

Saigon Kick was arguably South Florida’s biggest rock export in the early ’90s, a band with some major hits that remains somewhat underrated, perhaps, because of the time at which it appeared. At first glance, the group, originally a quartet, had all the aesthetic stylings of a glam-metal act. But…

MP3 of the Day: “Work” by Mike Mineo, Playing Dada on Monday, August 10

Mike Mineo fuses reggae, soulful vocals, and fan-chain pulling, computer-monitor slapping, light-switch flipping percussion for his funky and quirky single “Work,” off his upcoming album Eccentricity, due out in late February. Produced by Brent Williams, who produces and plays with local singer-songwriter Cat Shell, “Work” conveys the sense of stagnant imprisonment and monotony associated with middle-class/blue-collar existence. Mineo used a click…

Waitress War Story – Man Takes Head Dive Into Empty Hotel Pool

Short Order’s been bothering every restaurant worker we meet for stories from their time working in the restaurant industry. Pen and pad in hand we approach them in kitchens, at bars, in hallways and at hostess stands. Sometimes the stories come to us.That’s how we met twenty eight year old…

Sean Casey Responds to New Times Article

Last week, I reported about Sean Casey, a 35-year-old Boston native who is serving a 12-and-a-half-year prison term for allegedly running down and killing an elderly woman on Harding Avenue in Miami Beach, and then fleeing the scene, back in 2001.While awaiting trial, Casey fled the country in 2004 to…

Miami-Dade Property Appraiser Lies

The Banana has a friend named Betty, who earlier this year picked up a two-bedroom condo on Brickell Avenue for $109,000. Betty got the unit at a bargain because it was in foreclosure. But you wouldn’t know that by checking the Miami-Dade County Property Appraiser’s online property search database, a…

Model Latina Miami Premiered Last Night

Model Latina Miami premiered last night on SiTV, a station we’ve never heard of and pretty sure we don’t get, but we browsed through the first episode online. The funny thing is that runways of the world could certainly use a healthy dose of Latina spice. Only a few leggy Brazilian glamazons, such…