Top Five Miami Heat Haters Who Can Suck It

Yo, bro! The Heat won! We are them big two-timers, and you know our boys are going to keep their strong up and come back for another title in 2014. How could it be any other way? But would you believe it? There are still a bunch of haters out…

Voice Places: Cleaner, Quicker, More Fun

By now our lovely regular readers are familiar with Voice Places, the listings engine behind all of Miami New Times’ restaurant reviews and calendar picks. Today that engine got a lot more powerful, with a new design that brings even more content to the fore. Among the changes: Cleaner design…

Hottest Miami Heat Players, According to the Ladies

There’s something inexplicably sexy about sweaty men, especially the men of the Miami Heat. Just look at the way they run across the basketball court at the AAA with perspiration slowly dripping down their chiseled biceps, how aggressively they fight for the ball, and how smoothly they score. Maybe it’s…

Overhaul DCF to Save Kids

It’s time to abolish or overhaul the Florida Department of Children and Families, the worst government agency in the history of the state. Unless Gov. Rick Scott takes drastic action, more kids will end up dead because of DCF’s incompetence. The latest tragedy involves 4-year-old Antwan Hope, who was found…

Reader Mail: Bring On a Black Boycott of Miami Beach

Best of Miami Great choice: Thank you for noticing what I have known since I met Lissette Gonzalez (“Best of Miami: Best Meteorologist,” June 13) when she was selected as Miss Carnaval Miami in 1997. I’ve had the privilege of working with Lissette at CBS4 since 2007 and have witnessed…

McDonald’s Accused of Cheating Worker By Paying With ATM Card

Over the past several years, frightening statistics have been released revealing that minimum wage earners working 40 hours per week cannot afford to live above poverty level — meaning they cannot afford rent on their own, their food budget is negligible, and of course, cable and WiFi are out of…

Lock & Load: Machine Gun Experience Set to Open in Wynwood

Miami, are you ready to get your Tony Montana game face on? Or perhaps you’re feeling like James Cagney in The Public Enemy. Whichever fictional gangster you prefer, Lock & Load: Machine Gun Experience has the arsenal to satisfy your firearm fetish. Amid the art galleries of Wynwood, a 14,000-square-foot…

Heat Wins in OT, Forces Game 7

Yup. LeBron James and Ray Allen got it done. Now it’s on to Thursday. Chris Bosh also looked pretty damn awesome. Rebounds, blocks. Heat hasn’t won two consecutive games in a dog’s age. About time. Go Heat!…

Pepe Billete’s Miami Heat Game Six Pep(e) Talk

Miami Heat, tonight you face the greatest and most ominous opponent you have ever encountered in your life. No challenge you’ve met has ever been more difficult. No enemy has ever been more powerful and no accomplishment, accolade, award, or title you’ve earned has ever been more important in achieving…

Abused Kids Will Never Be Safe Until DCF Is Fixed

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke speaks up for neglected, abused children. It’s time to abolish or overhaul the Florida Department of Children…

Rick Scott Signs Pipe Ban That Doesn’t Really Ban Pipes

Bro!!!!!! Did you hear bro?!?!? Gov. Rick Scott is such a buzz kill bro!!! He just signed a law that makes it illegal for smoke shops to sell just about every pipe bro!!! Glass, wooden, acrylic, stone, metal, with or without screens, with carubretion!!! We’re gonna have to stock up…

“I’ll Miss the Shuckers Deck…”

Oh, I’ll miss the Shuckers deck. I have spent a lot of time there eating small crustaceans. One time, I arrived early to meet friends and I was stuck in that awkward point in a bar where you just order a drink and try to sip it by yourself, pacing…

Shuckers Deck Collapse: No More Waterfront Restaurants?

What started out as a fun evening with friends took a tragic turn when the waterfront deck at Shuckers Bar & Grill in North Bay Village collapsed during the Miami Heat game, sending about 100 people tumbling into the water. As cheers for the home team turned into screams, restaurant…