Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke talks about the importance of safe sex. When New York-based prophylactics company b Condoms approached me about doing…
The background noise of small talk from athletes finishing the Mercedes-Benz Corporate Run was interrupted by the roaring sound of motors as a group of about 15 bikers swarmed El Vato into Mary Brickell Village. The guys of the Cartel Baggers and Peterson’s Harley-Davidson were blasting David Guetta’s “Beautiful People”…
How much can you get for a donated 2005 Toyota Prius previously owned by Miami-Dade County? A cool 8,200 bucks. Talk about a steal of a deal! Too much of a steal, according to the Miami-Dade Office of the Inspector General. And now it has cost a well-respected Cuban-American human…
Between 1984 and 1989, Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas, as “Sonny” and “Rico,” respectively, were the coolest motherfuckers on television, eliminating highly dramatized drug crime ’round South Beach in pimp Armani blazers over pastel t-shirts on NBC’s Miami Vice every Friday night. And just like show itself, music featured…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Pain & Gain opens tomorrow. And when it does, Miami’s gym culture, New Times, and our city’s seedy underbelly will have their moment in the sun — their steroid-fueled, bicep-bulging, vein-popping 15 minutes of fame. If you’re a dude (or a chick — we don’t discriminate) who wants to score…
Two months ago, six Hialeah Police officers stamped out a gathering of young folks attempting to shoot an impromptu street video of “Harlem Shake,” the popular Internet meme that went so viral even the Miami Heat players did their own version. When cops ordered the crowd to disperse on February…
As The Dissident, J.J. Colagrande turns his critical eye on Miami culture. This week: O, Miami is crazy expensive, bro. Listen, I love poetry. Contrary to popular belief, especially here in Miami, poetry is important. Poetry reflects the condition of being human. Underneath the turning leaf of truth lies poetry…
Just in case you thought the late-night talk-show circuit was getting too crowded, make room for one more celeb in the mix — and be sure to add some ice-cold milk. Beginning May 7, celebrity cereal mascot Cap’n Crunch will host his very own late-night YouTube talk show every other…
Americans Caused Boston Marathon Tragedy
Reader Mail: No One Is Worse Than Jeffrey Loria
Ready for a shocker? American taxpayers subsidize the purchase of approximately $4 billion worth of soda products annually through SNAP, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, also known as food stamps. Federal, state, and local governments have all tried to prohibit the purchase of sodas and other “junk food” items with…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking music made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why Americans fuel terrorism. It’s a beautiful thing when Americans come together during a crisis. Whether it’s…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
If you think writing a good catchy jingle is easy, think again, young grasshopper. For every “You Deserve a Break Today” and “I Wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner,” there are dozens of cringe-worthy losers. They are the musical equivalent of road kill, but still demand attention. Then, like…
Lagniappe is a Big Easy-style beer-and-wine bar/restaurant/live music venue. Although it may sound like a lot of things, Lagniappe is also resoundingly uncomplicated. At the Midtown bar, which opened late last year, there are no waiters. There are no menus, no silverware, no china, and no cloth napkins. Lagniappe, rather,…
Last week, Banana Republican warned readers about a private parking lot on 17th Street and Lennox Avenue on Miami Beach masquerading as a public lot. It’s even equipped with a meter that is identical to the ones used by the City of Miami Beach for street parking and public lots.Except…
Florida lawmakers need to roll up a fat joint to celebrate 4/20 and chill out. While Republican legislators move full speed ahead to ban the sale of bongs and glass pipes, they ignore a measure to legalize medical marijuana. These guys must think we’re still living in 1936, the year…
Reader Mail: South Beach Tow Companies Are the Biggest Scam on Earth
Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Jorge E. Cueto should have known better. On Tuesday, he angrily removed himself from a civil case challenging Miami Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones’ third run for office. After ruling in favor of her opponent, Rev. Richard Dunn, that she could not run again, local media outlets reported that…
Let’s face it, hip-hop is pretty stupid. Not, like, inherently. Because it used to be about self-reflection, empowerment, and fun. Now, though, the mainstream rap community’s message can be boiled down to a handful of misguided concepts, spewed and propagated by lying hacks. There’s almost nothing enlightening about radio-friendly rap…
Uncle Luke, the man who made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says its time to legalize medical marijuana.Florida lawmakers need to roll up a fat joint and chill out. While the…
