Dear punk-ass Miami Beach bike thief:On March 20, you rolled up on my ’80s Italian-made Univega road bike tied to a street post near the Raleigh Hotel on Collins Avenue. It had a dope iridescent purple-and-blue paint scheme, a chrome yoke, and neon-green hand grips. It took me close to…
If you’ve been noticing some weirder-than-usual news coming at you today, better double check the calendar! That’s right, bitches — it’s April Fools’ Day and there were plenty of websites and companies that punked us, but good. We especially liked Twitter wanting to charge for vowels and Google’s new smell-technology…
Ah, government. It protects and serves. Floridians spent last year lamenting Gov. Rick Scott’s bright idea for welfare recipients: a ludicrous plan to drug-test every single person on state aid. (The courts later threw that idea out the window.)Believe it or not, there’s now a governor whose food stamp plans…
Last week, I was bombarded with emails regarding a Facebook post I made wishing the gay community luck and expressing my hope that the Supreme Court delivers a favorable decision on their behalf. The majority of the emails were from fans of my work, gay and straight, just saying “thanks,”…
Rick Ross needs to Bawse up and take responsibility for his verses. But he doesn’t seem ready to admit to rappin’ about rape. Some guest spot lyrics on “U.O.E.N.O.” from the Miami MC have got a lot of women reconsidering their love for the hefty player. But just as we…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
There’s something funny about money. Once you have a certain amount of it, those greenbacks just keep multiplying. You don’t really have to do anything, except sit back and watch that money tree fruit up. Just look at Diddy. He hasn’t done anything in years, and he’s still the richest…
Galata Inc., a Homestead social service agency that received a no-questions-asked $500,000 county grant in 2008 to pay off a mortgage, is now seeking private donations to help pay down another loan. In January, the Miami-Dade Inspector General’s Office criticized Galata officials for misusing $99,000 from the grant to pay…
In Rome, in the Prati neighborhood located a short walk from the Vatican, there is a pizza al taglio (pizza by the slice) joint named Pizzarium. The restaurant is tiny, there are no chairs, and there is a ridiculously long line at lunchtime. There are craft beers and a choice…
As The Dissident, J.J. Colagrande turns his critical eye on Miami culture. This week: why updating your profile picture online doesn’t make you a freedom fighter. Facebook feeds around the country are now filled with red and pink, as users change their profile picture to the Human Rights Campaign’s logo…
Uncle Luke: The First 48 Gives Black Miami a Bad Rap
Reader Mail: Don’t Blame Puerto Rico for Miami’s Crime
Confidence is sexy. But someone forgot to tell Kanye West about the rule of subtlety. Personally, we think the egomaniacal musician is the genius he claims to be. But all things in moderation. No doubt, his forthcoming album will be a righteous game-changer, inevitably topping charts, and burrowing into our…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes after one of the most watched shows on cable television.I’ve never been a big fan of the…
Brad Stonesifer thought he’d found the perfect Ultra Music Festival party pad for himself and five pals. The 41-year-old electronic dance music aficionado from York, Pennsylvania, booked a four-night stay at the Residences at Bayside, directly across from Bayfront Park where his crew planned on enjoying the second weekend of…
At a meeting of the American Heart Association yesterday, data was presented that indicates there are high levels of sodium in packaged food made for toddlers. I’ve gotten flack about this column for my stance that food should bear clear and obvious labels that show nutritional and artificial-sweetener data. The…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Close to 1,000 former Miami Herald and El Nuevo Herald staffers descended on One Herald Plaza Wednesday afternoon. Reporters. Advertising executives. Printing-press mechanics. Bookkeepers. Publishers. Janitors. They all came to pay their final respects to the place that has defined journalism in this city for the last 50 years. Sometime…
Who doesn’t love Pillsbury? With its adorable chubby Doughboy and love-handle-inducing cinnamon rolls, it’s an American institution. And in search of top baking talent, the kitchen mega-brand is giving away $1 million in a bake-off. And because Miamians are multi-talented, it’s no surprise that a local woman is in the…
Just when you think the Miami Heat can’t possibly take your emotions to a higher place than they have already been this season, an ordinary Wednesday night in Cleveland happens — and the streak pushes on.Down 27 with seven minutes to play in the third quarter, the Heat decided to…
As the Dissident, J.J. Colagrande turns his critical eye on Miami culture. This week: how the annual mega-rave that is Ultra and WMC makes Miami a second-class city. Miami is in the middle of a cultural and intellectual renaissance. We’re finally evolving from a stale reputation leftover from the ’80s…
82-Year-Old Lady on Metrorail Victim of Religious Discrimination
