Uncle Luke, the man who made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke retraces the history of broken promises made to Miami’s African American community.On November 6, we’ll vote on a $1.2 billion…
“What’s your favorite restaurant?” That question got us all thinking. If we had to choose one top dog at gunpoint, what would it be and why? Each week, a different Short Order blogger will celebrate his or her favorite eatery — be it celebrity-chef-driven or a neighborhood hole-in-the-wall. For a…
The winner of a cockroach- and worm-eating contest at the Ben Siegal Reptile Store in Deerfield Beach collapsed and died shortly after winning a $700 ivory ball python Friday. Authorities say 32-year-old Edward Archbold began feeling sick and vomited after eating dozens of cockroaches and worms. Later he was DOA…
Much like phony-baloney award shows or boring-as-shit overpriced music festivals, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is — generally speaking — a big bunch of bullshit. Or as the Sex Pistols would say, “a piss stain.” Look, we’re totally stoked that Kraftwerk, N.W.A., and Public Enemy might finally going…
Ever eat a shit sandwich? Well, brrrother, go get your fill when Cedric Gervais and LIV’s all-out Sh!t Show on October 27. They’re going totally balls to the wall. In fact, Cedric and the superclassy Miami Beach club even held a search for the biggest shit-eater, -kicker, and/or -starter in…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Happy Birthday, Nielson! The SoundScan system just turned 20. And although it’s probably on its deathbed, Billboard is celebrating the watermark with a series of chart-topping lists. The latest release: The top 100 pop songs since the system’s implementation, back in ’92. Some Miami-bred musicians made the cut, with Pitbull,…
Would you eat a dozen churros every day for pay?Researchers at the Washington University School of Medicine are paying participants to eat, particularly fast food from McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut.Participants are being compensated up to $3500 depending on how quickly they reach their…
Uncle Luke: Nevin Shapiro’s Assistant Sean Allen Needs to Stop Spinning His Story
Reader Mail: Don’t Blame Cops for Liberty City’s Thug Takeover
Say you’re Miami-Dade’s top prosecutor. On Aug. 14, you easily won reelection to your sixth term. But your campaign was embarrassed by the revelation that one of your trusted campaign consultants may have previously employed a woman criminally charged with absentee ballot fraud. As a result of your possible conflict…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke vents about one of the central players in the Nevin Shapiro University of Miami football scandal.With quarterback Stephen…
There’s a reason we picked Daphne Campbell as the worst candidate on the August 14 Primary ballot. Even though she got reelected, Campbell can’t escape scandals. The latest involves one of her former employees swindling Haitian American constituents who went to Campbell’s Miami Shores district office seeking assistance. Today, Florida…
A newly released transcript in a federal case against a family of pot growers indicates they were involved in the unsolved murder of a 17-year-old boy. Four months ago, federal prosecutors announced the bust of Gilberto Santiesteban Jr., along with with his brothers Alexander and Derrick, for running a ring…
“What’s your favorite restaurant?” That question, recently batted around at our weekly editorial meeting, got us all thinking. If we had to choose one top dog at gunpoint, what would it be and why? Each week, a different Short Order blogger will celebrate his or her favorite eatery — be…
Welcome to Ask a Failed Musician, in which I will help struggling musicians make sense of their careers and even offer some advice. Whether or not it will work, who knows? It obviously didn’t work for me. But then again, I was on www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PDNl8hZJd8″ target=”blank”>Kimmelonce, so there’s that. A musician…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Instagram, the wildly popular photo sharing social media application, has garnered over 100 million users since its founding in 2010. Today, smart phone users now share breakfast moments and coffee breaks with the press of two or three buttons. But, for the most part, these quick snaps and shares have…
Thugs Take Overtown
Down With the TSA
According to a study conducted by Professor Aradnha Krishna from the University of Michigan, many Americans are big, fat dummies whose psyches and eating habits are manipulated by suits in the marketing, advertising, and fashion industries. Krishna’s study involved one experiment in which she mislabeled the size of food to test…
Just one week after picking up $4 million worth of campaign contributions at a Jay-Z-and-Beyonce-hosted fundraiser, President Obama received a ringing endorsement from Madonna during her concert in Washington, D.C. “Y’all better vote for fucking Obama, OK?” Madge told the audience. “For better or for worse, alright, we have a…
