It is said that the average diner peruses a menu for a mere 109 seconds. Before we get on to improving menus, I’d suggest diners improve their chances of getting a good meal by spending more time than that. But it is what it is, at least according to a…
Everyone knows Justin Bieber’s droves of pubescent girl “beliebers” are totally batty. Until now, we thought they had some modicum of decency. But turns out, they are some of the most depraved and demoralized fans in existence. If you were listening to Elvis Duran and the Morning Show on Y100…
It looks like the plan to kill Scotty’s Landing is going forward. In fact, unlike so many of Miami’s snail-paced ventures, the plans to replace Scotty’s, Grove Key Marina, and Chart House are steamrolling ahead.A few days ago, five bids were presented to a special selection committee to weigh the merits…
Something just ain’t kosher.As reported by Short Order earlier this week, ConAgra Foods, Inc., the company that produces those delicious Hebrew National hot dogs, is being sued. Well, not only sued, but sued in a class action lawsuit. The law firm of Blackwell Burke filed the suit in Minneapolis on behalf of…
About three weeks before Rudy Eugene took off all his clothes and chewed off Ronald Poppo’s face, Miami Police had to subdue another naked man who went crazy in the Upper Eastside. Luckily, Andre Patterson didn’t seriously hurt anyone and didn’t end up dead. The incident occurred on the morning of…
Dwyane Wade Hasn’t Lost the Fire to Be the Best
Reader Mail: Tony Montana Isn’t the Face of Miami
See also “Nickelback Petition Backfires, Band to Play BankAtlantic Center.” The Internet really hates Nickelback. As far as avid tech geeks and music snobs are concerned, they’re the worst band ever. And in line with its total, unabashed disgust for the Canadian bad boys of flavorless ballads, the Internet has…
Maybe it was the headline calling him a “Modern Day Minstrel” or the comparison to Rush Limbaugh that got underneath Skip Bayless’ ripped muscles. Or maybe the sports journalist and host of ESPN’s First Take figured he wasn’t about to let Luther Campbell call him a race baiting huckster on…
“Certainly a sort of industrial use of creatures, so that geese are fed in such a way as to produce as large a liver as possible, or hens live so packed together that they become just caricatures of birds, this degrading of living creatures to a commodity seems to me…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the future of the Miami Heat’s biggest star.Whether the Heat wins or loses the NBA Finals, everybody…
In February I wrote a scathing review of the Sonic Beach in Homestead. I was contacted by one of the proprietors and told the following:One, Sonic took feedback very seriously.Two, the manager mentioned in my review had been demoted and was undergoing further training, specifically for customer service.And three, the…
Talking to a music snob can be a great learning experience. Or a great pain in the ass. You know the type. Sure, they’ve got stellar taste. But they hold it over everyone’s heads like some kind of license to poop in your cereal. Though each snob has his or…
Tallahassee, be very afraid. If all goes according to their plan, not one, not two, but all three Diaz de la Portilla brothers will be members of the state Legislature come November. They’re already one-third of the way there. Miguel Diaz de la Portilla did not draw a challenger for…
The Avengers Don’t Need a Black Superhero
You’d think the Florida Department of Education has more important things to worry about like the FCAT debacle. Instead, state education officials are working hard, wasting taxpayer money, to make sure Luther Campbell — former 2 Live Crew front man and current New Times columnist — doesn’t get to coach…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Slawsa. It straddles the line between slaw and salsa. It has more heat than a Giancarlo Stanton home run or maybe even a LeBron James Game 6.But should it top the Marlins signature dog? A Slawsa employee who read about suggestions for the perfect Marlins hot dog came at us with this ingenius product. Chorizo…
New Voting Laws Could Take Out Barack Obama This Fall
The Avengers Lacks Black Superheroes
Good Riddance, Urban Beach Weekend
Talk to the Manager, a new text message service, gives diners the opportunity to send complaints and praises directly to a restaurant’s manager and owner.The creators of Talk to the Manager launched the business to help restaurants help themselves before unhappy customers slam them on public forum sites like Yelp…
