Has President Barack Obama caught the absentee ballot fever that has corrupted Florida’s electoral system? Yesterday, the Tampa Bay Tribune reported Barry’s reelection campaign is launching an “unprecedented program to encourage supporters to vote by absentee ballot right away.” Elections offices across the state mailed out absentee ballot request forms…
Get ready, everyone. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are house-hunting for $10-million Miami mansions. The fashionable, ego-centric couple was spotted wandering the MIA’s rainy streets yesterday, stopping to check out lots of properties, and grabbing each other’s delicious butt cheeks. Oh, to be rich, popular, and in love. But is…
Uncle Luke, the man who made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke retraces the history of broken promises made to Miami’s African American community.On November 6, we’ll vote on a $1.2 billion…
“What’s your favorite restaurant?” That question got us all thinking. If we had to choose one top dog at gunpoint, what would it be and why? Each week, a different Short Order blogger will celebrate his or her favorite eatery — be it celebrity-chef-driven or a neighborhood hole-in-the-wall. For a…
The winner of a cockroach- and worm-eating contest at the Ben Siegal Reptile Store in Deerfield Beach collapsed and died shortly after winning a $700 ivory ball python Friday. Authorities say 32-year-old Edward Archbold began feeling sick and vomited after eating dozens of cockroaches and worms. Later he was DOA…
Ever eat a shit sandwich? Well, brrrother, go get your fill when Cedric Gervais and LIV’s all-out Sh!t Show on October 27. They’re going totally balls to the wall. In fact, Cedric and the superclassy Miami Beach club even held a search for the biggest shit-eater, -kicker, and/or -starter in…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Uncle Luke: Nevin Shapiro’s Assistant Sean Allen Needs to Stop Spinning His Story
Reader Mail: Don’t Blame Cops for Liberty City’s Thug Takeover
Say you’re Miami-Dade’s top prosecutor. On Aug. 14, you easily won reelection to your sixth term. But your campaign was embarrassed by the revelation that one of your trusted campaign consultants may have previously employed a woman criminally charged with absentee ballot fraud. As a result of your possible conflict…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke vents about one of the central players in the Nevin Shapiro University of Miami football scandal.With quarterback Stephen…
There’s a reason we picked Daphne Campbell as the worst candidate on the August 14 Primary ballot. Even though she got reelected, Campbell can’t escape scandals. The latest involves one of her former employees swindling Haitian American constituents who went to Campbell’s Miami Shores district office seeking assistance. Today, Florida…
A newly released transcript in a federal case against a family of pot growers indicates they were involved in the unsolved murder of a 17-year-old boy. Four months ago, federal prosecutors announced the bust of Gilberto Santiesteban Jr., along with with his brothers Alexander and Derrick, for running a ring…
“What’s your favorite restaurant?” That question, recently batted around at our weekly editorial meeting, got us all thinking. If we had to choose one top dog at gunpoint, what would it be and why? Each week, a different Short Order blogger will celebrate his or her favorite eatery — be…
Welcome to Ask a Failed Musician, in which I will help struggling musicians make sense of their careers and even offer some advice. Whether or not it will work, who knows? It obviously didn’t work for me. But then again, I was on www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PDNl8hZJd8″ target=”blank”>Kimmelonce, so there’s that. A musician…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Thugs Take Overtown
Down With the TSA
Just one week after picking up $4 million worth of campaign contributions at a Jay-Z-and-Beyonce-hosted fundraiser, President Obama received a ringing endorsement from Madonna during her concert in Washington, D.C. “Y’all better vote for fucking Obama, OK?” Madge told the audience. “For better or for worse, alright, we have a…
Uncle Luke, The man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke wants Miami Police to reclaim the parks for the children.This past September 8, shortly after 9 p.m., things…
Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist, and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to help you stop…
While the Miami Herald wonders where Ana Alliegro – a key witness in a federal criminal probe of Congressman David Rivera – has disappeared to, The Strawbuyer blogger Mike Hatami has dug up her criminal record. And it appears the self-professed “Republican Political Guru and Conservative Bad Girl” likes to…
