Who Will Be In Carlos Gimenez’s Administration?

Carlos Gimenez won’t get sworn in as mayor until at least Friday, but he is already getting to work. Blogger Elaine de Valle reports Gimenez will be meeting today with County Manager Alina Hudak to start work on the budget which has to be presented to the county commission in…

Five Times Carlos Gimenez Screwed The Taxpayers

Today is your last chance to decide which of the least suckiest candidates for county mayor you want to vote for. Yesterday, we told you how Julio Robaina shoved it to the taxpayers.Well, Carlos Gimenez has done his fair share of giving it to us with no Vaseline as well…

The Nonblack Elites Lie Again

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke wages war against Miami’s elitist secret society.If you are an African American civic leader in Miami, you’re…

Five Times Julio Robaina Screwed The Taxpayers

You know Miami-Dade politics is a joke when the county mayor’s race comes down to which guy sucks less. If you’re into a Cuban version of Arthur Fonzerelli with his own private shadow bank, you’ll vote for Julio Robaina. If you’re interested in the fire chief version of recently ousted…

Yelpers Parody Takes On Volunteer Restaurant Reviewers (Video)

Yelp started as a great way to spread the word on favorite restaurants and insider tips (ask for the veal, not generally on the menu or the waiter will bring you sparkling water at no extra charge). We laughed at and loved the reviews, but sometimes it seemed like Yelpers…

Mugshots Friday: The Iceman, Chuckles and an Oscar Gamble Wanna-be

​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Urban Beach Weekend, Facebook, and the Age of the Ignorati

Almost a month after the ignominious conclusion of Memorial Day Weekend on Miami Beach, ignorance is still flowing strong on a Facebook group page calling for an end to the controversial week-long unofficial party.No matter how many times the administrators, who include Miami Beach gay activist Herb Sosa, remind folks to…

Miss Florida USA Doesn’t Understand Evolution, Fits Right In

The Miss USA contestants need to either read a textbook or shut the hell up.Aside from the asinine, sexist 1950s mentality that the “competition” is based on, the annual beauty contest is intellectually damaging to the young women who are looking to them as role models. We’re steering them wrong…

Mugshots Friday: Every Friday is Sweet Beard Appreciation Day

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Developers Bundling Money for Carlos Gimenez Too

A couple of blogs have been barking up a storm about certain real estate developers tied to dubious projects getting cozy with Julio Robaina, but Carlos Gimenez has his fair share as well. The donations reinforce the fact both candidates represent special interests and folks they will have to answer…

The Wonderful Dallas Fans: Highlights from the Comments Section

It was an innocent post: Mavericks guard DeShawn Stevenson got arrested when he was found drunk in an apartment complex. If he hadn’t called the Heat “classless” earlier this week, there probably wouldn’t have been a write-up. The finals are long over, but it was a chance to poke back…

Chris Bosh Sued by Ex for Keeping Her Off Basketball Wives

Between the Heat and VH1’s Basketball Wives, the city of Miami has become America’s unquestioned capital of b-ball-related drama. Mix the Heat and the Wives together, and you have a surefire recipe for superscandal.See, VH1 tried to capitalize on the Heat drama by bringing Chris Bosh’s baby mama Allison Mathis…

Why I Passed on Carlos Gimenez

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Six days after his controversial endorsement of Julio Robaina, Luke issues the last word on his decision.The spin doctors are…

The Murderous Miami Heat Drinking Game

Note: This log, apparently describing an NBA Finals-themed drinking game played by a group of Miami Heat fans, was discovered late Sunday night. The fate of the heartbroken revelers is not known.FIRST QUARTER12:00 — All right, time for tip-off! Super excited to have all this booze. Keeping my laptop handy to…

Luther Campbell Explains His Endorsement of Julio Robaina

No surprise, blogs backing Carlos Gimenez attacked Luther Campbell for going with Julio Robaina in the Miami-Dade mayoral run-off on June 28. Even the Miami Herald, which has also endorsed Gimenez, took issue with Campbell’s shocking unexpected backing of Robaina, whom he dubbed “Hialeah’s overlord” in the pages of this…