Piranha Grandma, Ski Slope Hair, and the Sneaky Milk Thief

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Tupac’s Sex Tape: TMZ Releases Photos and Afeni Shakur Is Pissed (NSFW)

​It’s embarrassing to admit, but Crossfade isn’t any closer to deducing the identity of the “anonymous owner” threatening to release a sex tape featuring ’90s West Coast gangsta rap martyr Tupac Shakur. Our drive to apprehend the culprit is insatiable. And while constantly refreshing the internet’s most tawdry gossip sites,…

Steve Jobs & Food

Steve Jobs is not normally associated with food. You don’t know where he goes to dinner, his favorite coffee shop, or find him on top chefs’ lists. Surprisingly, aside from dramatically changing the entertainment and media industry, he’s had the greatest effect on the food industry.

Republican Univision Debate: Fear, Not Rubio, the Driving Factor

Five Republican candidates — including Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman, and Rick Perry — have pulled out of a Univision debate in January. Why? Allegedly it is because of a comment the head of the blockbuster Spanish-language channel made to Florida Sen. Marco Rubio’s people while attempting to blackmail the senator…

Yelpers Tricia and Johanna are Coffee Snobs

Back in June, we were treated to the inner world of that most annoying breed of restaurant-goer — the Yelper. In Funny or Die’s parody, we’re treated to Tricia and Johanna Yelping about everything from the disappointing sunset to their own apartment (‘weird smell, cat not attentive”)…

Mickey D’s McFlurry vs BK’s Soft Serve Ice Cream

You’ve probably seen Burger King’s latest commercial featuring their newest dessert options including one that looks a lot like McDonald’s McFlurry. The commercial, of course, is fairytale in nature featuring a Willy Wonka portrayal of the soft serve and its accompaniments of flowing chocolate, rich brownies and sunny peaches. Enticing? It got us to interested in comparing it to the iconic McFlurry.

Steve Bateman Really Knows How To Treat His Buddies

​It’s great to have Homestead Mayor Steven Bateman as a pal when you don’t want to pay a city bill. Consider the case of Prime Home Builders, a company owned by a family of real estate developers that has donated more than five grand to Bateman’s re-election campaign. On November 16,…

Cow Heart Makes Hearts Stop

Each week’s edition of Show & Tell gets more adventurous. It’s organ time! Usually ceviche is the first dish that comes to mind when thinking of Peruvian food, at least for nonnatives. That’s what some Short Order writers thought even before the white Styrofoam box was opened; they were in…

Dolphins Need John Gruden to Be Their Coach

Alex Izaguirre The only way Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross can salvage this season is if he convinces John Gruden to leave the Monday Night Football television booth. The former Tampa Bay Buccaneers head man is the only candidate out there who can come in and quickly fix the shit storm…

Overanxious Florida Republicans May Ensure Obama Win

​A Florida commission appointed by Republicans will likely vote today to move up the state’s Republican primary election to January 31.Though party muckety-mucks are still working on a compromise that could delay the election until February 21, the decision will probably create chaos.Given last week’s victory of Godfather’s Pizza founder…

X Factor: Ten Most Annoying Moments from Last Night’s Episode

It was a huge challenge to narrow down the hundreds of annoying things about last night’s X Factor to a nice, tight ten. But we did it! The auditions continued in Chicago and Seattle. We sat through two hours of clips of people with a small amount of talent competing…