Cast Your Vote: Is Foie Gras Animal Abuse?

California lawmakers have announced they plan to enforce a 2004 law that bans the production and sale of foie gras. Animal rights activists petitioned for the duck relief, citing it as “an inhumane practice that should be relegated to the history books.”Now, you might or might not know that force-feeding duckies…

Marc Sarnoff’s Propane-Huffing Antagonist

Miami Commissioner Marc Sarnoff has a new tormentor. He is Reid Welch, a 57-year-old Coconut Grove resident who eradicates Sarnoff campaign signs from the neighborhood when he is not huffing noxious fumes.”I inhale propane gas to get high, but I am not the least bit nutty,” Welch insists. “I asked…

The Duodenal Switch Twice as Dangerous as the Gastric Bypass?

As some of you know, I’ve been looking into different weight loss techniques as of late. I’m currently on the Gastric Bypass Hypnosis Surgery program by Rena Greenberg, which I’ll be posting a halfway point update on next week.As some of you may also know – I believe in natural…

September 11 Rewind: How Food Got Us Through

As I walked into Dunkin’ Donuts yesterday to grab a coffee in Miami, I noticed pumpkin doughnuts for sale. Suddenly a little frisson ran down my spine. I was transported back to a sunny morning almost a decade ago in New York. Around 9 a.m. on that fateful September 11,…

Mugshots Friday: Celebrity Look-Alike Edition

​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Sally Heyman Wants Control Over Miami Herald Headquarters Casino Plan

​A Malaysian gambling conglomerate’s plans to convert the Miami Herald headquarters and surrounding properties into a luxury resort casino has prompted one county commissioner to seek more control over redevelopment of the Omni neighborhood.Under a proposal by Sally Heyman, one of the 13 county commissioners would become a member of…

Paris Hilton Announces Plans to Become the “Queen of House Music”

Crossfade’s Google Alerts are incredibly random. This morning, sandwiched between Gloria Estefan and Rick Ross, an alert that read, “Paris Hilton Training to Become Most Powerful House DJ Ever!!!” sent chills down our spine. Evidently, the former sex tape reality vixen is a beat freak, and she’s “pretty tight” with…

Ten Totally Tubular ’80s Cartoon Theme Songs

For any kid who grew up in the ’80s, it wasn’t about the content of character. It was about the size of Transformer. After school and Saturday mornings, masses of children spent hour after hour parked in front of turn-knob television screens, adjusting rabbit ears, dying to hear the first…

KC of the Sunshine Band: I Don’t Look Like Rush Limbaugh at a Bar Mitzvah!

Between 1974 and ’78, America’s youth got hooked on a truly putrid form of faddish dance music called disco. The shirts were sickeningly shiny. The pants were excruciatingly tight. And Miami’s own KC (born Harry Wayne Casey), along with his Sunshine Band, provided the soundtrack for this sweaty, polyester-clad shuffle…

Maurice Kutner, Divorce Lawyer To The Stars, Beats A Bad Rap

Divorce lawyer Maurice Kutner was feeling vindicated when he dialed up Banana Republican last week. “She lied about everything concerning me,” Kutner said. “It was very distasteful to experience this. I run my practice by the book.”Two years ago, a former client claimed Kutner had duped her into rejecting a…

Madonna Confirms New, Overhyped Album on Swedish Television

Our list of celebrity MILFs over 50 is short. In fact, it only consist of one incredibly sexy, adorably gap-toothed pentagenarian. And like a virgin touched for the very first time, we’d probably last less than 30 seconds with her. Ironically, that’s also how long we can stomach her music…

Kirby Hocutt: The UM Scandal’s Real Villain

Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke wonders when the NCAA will drop the hammer on former University of Miami athletic director Kirby Hocutt.Now that…

The Journey Home From Voice of the Valley Noise Rally 2011

Read the remaining entries from Roofless Records, Bleeding Palm, and Crossfade’s road trip diary. Voice of the Valley Noise Rally Report #5 Pentress, WV/Springfield, VA/Miami, FL 8/28/2011 After we said our farewell to the strange and epic Indian Meadows, we headed to Springfield, Virginia, (Thank you, Patrick and Karen!) to…