We here at Crossfade have done extensive scientific research, compiled the stats, and our report on the correlation between photogenic faces and funniness is ready. The conclusion: Good-looking people with nice tans and beautiful hair are never ever fucking funny. Especially Louis Aguirre. For proof, see the cut and sit…
Last time we checked on Hank Adorno, the once prominent Miami attorney was indefinitely suspended from practicing law after a Florida Bar investigation found he had violated nine bar rules.This week, the Daily Business Review reports the Florida Supreme Court decided to suspend Adorno for three years, the harshest punishment…
There was a certain millennial flash-point when New Wave-y New York City goth-pop quartet Interpol seemed as though it might play a major part in the cleanup of a half-decade’s crappy music. This was near the outset of the 21st Century when the whole mall-crawling Western world and every one…
Miami is inseparable from her nightlife and clubs. But she’s also a gold-digging, glamor-drunk whore. Ninety percent of the establishments around town (especially in South Beach) cater to people with a truly masochistic approach to nightlife, and it’s all because of that inane Miamian need to feel VIP. They love…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series…
While making the local radio rounds this past 4/20 promoting his latest epic documentary, Square Grouper, Rakontur auteur Billy Corben articulated his unwavering support for Luther Campbell’s mayoral campaign on Sid Rosenberg’s 560 WQAM show.”This is the first and only opportunity to see an African American as mayor of Miami-Dade…
The Miami-Dade Property Appraiser’s Office is looking to collect $3,109 from North Bay Village Mayor Corina Esquijarosa. That is how much she owes in unpaid property taxes on a downtown Miami condo she claimed was her homestead. Following our report that Esquijarosa was getting a tax break on the condo…
The race to become the next mayor of Miami-Dade County is turning into a costly affair. The three alleged front-runners, Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina, former county Commissioner Carlos Gimenez, and ex-state Rep. Marcelo Llorente have raised a combined $1.2 million according to their first quarterly campaign finance report. And there…
Letters from the issue of April 21, 2011
An assistant Miami fire chief who is on paid administrative leave while she awaits trial on federal mortgage fraud charges wants to get away for a while. The Straw Buyer reports the lawyer representing Veldora Arthur, who is paid $184,336 annually to oversee the fire department’s payroll, wants to travel…
Jay-Z, whom you might recall is Miami’s most-wanted gangbanger, recently came to the realization that transitioning from an executive position in the music industry, owning a sports team, publishing a book, overseeing a clothing line, managing a bunch of clubs, and kicking it with Oprah wasn’t enough to keep him…
Located off Bird Road, Lucky Oriental Mart is an Asian grocery store stocked with foods and products from China, Japan, Thailand, Korea, Indonesia, Vietnam, and the Philippines. Stroll the aisles and your curiosity will be piqued by colorfully packaged products like teas, candies, and cookies…
Yesterday, we brought you a trailblazing (and clearly drunken) Cuban riff on a video by those alternative rock retreads Live. But the real gem is this dude’s take on a Rick Ross song. And it’s not for the faint of heart. In the video, el Cubanito rips the glorified ghetto-ness…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke — who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding ex-Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez — makes a campaign promise…
Last week’s local YouTube sensation was a marimbero who took it upon himself to reinterpret a couple of choice musical numbers, including a video by ’90s alt-rock retreads Live. The lively running commentary features gags on arrebatos, primos who don’t shut up, and the headache after a good party –…
As the sun sets tonight, Passover begins. It’s interesting to note that on the eve of this holiday, I found a box of pictures that I didn’t even know I had. In it were snapshots of my grandparents, long since passed, dressed to the nines in Miami Beach and New…
North Bay Village’s mayor has a homestead problem. While claiming to reside in the small three-island city, Corina Esquijarosa has been receiving a $25,000 homestead exemption on an apartment she rents out to a man named Osmary Ramos. In order to get the tax break, Esquijarosa is required to live…
Lady Gaga doesn’t dress like the rest of us. For example, sometimes you’re putting on a polo and you look down and think, I look like a douche, so you replace it with a Sonic Youth t-shirt. Or you put on shorts and then realize your ass cheeks are partially…
About two dozen Haitian Americans protested new deportations of alleged criminals outside the immigration building on Northwest Seventh Avenue this morning. Authorities had suspended the flights for more than a month after a 34-year-old Haitian American man with only minor crimes on his record had died days after arriving on…
Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina’s political campaign contributed $350 to the Luis Posada Carilles defense fund. Last Friday, the 83-year-old Cuban American and ex-CIA operative was acquitted by an El Paso jury of 11 federal charges. He was accused of lying to federal agents about his alleged involvement in a string…
The Antiques Simply Antique (Funny Records) The Antiques’ website I am not going to sit here and claim to know every goddamned thing about Florida’s proud musical tradition. A good case in point was one of the earliest Blast From the Past columns that I performed for these digital pages…
We’ve been seeing a lot of former North Miami mayor Kevin Burns in the news lately. Last week, he appeared on a WPLG news segment complaining about parking meters in downtown Miami. Burns told the reporter that he had been gypped out of $7 because he didn’t realize he had…
