“This story begins earlier this year, just as the very first crocuses peeped from the frosted ground. One cold bright morning, George Ball, the proprietor of W. Atlee Burpee, the gardening company, discovered a curious looking green envelope in his mailbox. He noticed the pages gave off a distinct bouquet:…
Miguel Exposito should just go back to his usual routine of not speaking to the media about the shooting of seven black men by his police officers. The embattled Miami Police chief was interviewed by the New York Times about the shootings and a video clip for a proposed reality…
It’s Wednesday, and what better way to celebrate hump day than with a collection of morons, right? In this edition of Riptide’s occasional series Morons of the Week, you’ll meet a 92-year-old lady and her hunky, 53-year-old neighbor, as well as a dude who didn’t pass the NY bar. But…
There are overpriced dishes, and then there are really overpriced dishes. The tough part wasn’t finding ten such sucker deals, but whittling down the list to only ten. Once you peruse a hundred or so Miami restaurant menus, it becomes clear there are bad deals across the spectrum. So don’t…
Ladies who have a vested interested in keeping their breasted interests private might want to steer clear of Automatic Slim’s on South Beach this Wednesday. Women who don’t mind appearing topless on television screens of men too timid to buy real porn, well then perk up and make your plans…
What’s a crack reporter over at the Miami Herald to do when the newswire stops spitting out 700 words’ worth of cheap and easy automatic copy every couple of minutes? Read and regurgitate a tabloid rag called New Times, obviously. If, like us, you buy the Herald’s bloated Sunday edition…
Flipper is dead. Actually, the six dolphins who played him are. But that hasn’t stopped Miami Seaquarium from planning the Flipper’s Truck Stop food truck rally for this Sunday, March 27. A dozen trucks are scheduled to be there, including seafood-centric Fish Box and Jefe’s Original Fish Taco and Burger.You…
Ultra is only four days away. But the parties start tonight. And with dance music and rave culture letting its freak flag fly the entire week, we’ve decide to honor it with a fun game of Bingo! Well, with a slight Miami Music Week/Ultra Music Festival twist.Instead of numbers, the…
No wonder the City of Miami’s finances are in the crapper. The man in charge of its purse strings, Chief Financial Officer Larry Spring, lost his mother’s house in a foreclosure sale last year. If he couldn’t keep up with his mortgage payments, how can anyone expect Spring, who receives…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times.This week, Luke advises professional football players to form their own league.When Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson likened the National…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series…
Yesterday, Luther Campbell went on Spanish-language radio to talk about his campaign for Miami-Dade County mayor. The Miami New Times columnist was a guest of Ricardo Brown and Lourdes Ubieta, who host the 12 to 3 p.m. slot on Actualidad 1020 AM.Campbell discussed his First Amendment tussle with former Broward…
You might not know it from the freak show that is Bravo’s Real Housewives of Miami, but star Lea Black is a pretty prominent figure in Florida’s Democratic party fund-raising machine. Along with her attorney husband Roy Black, she held the very first fund-raiser for then-candidate Barack Obama in Florida…
Amazing Grace Entities (Self-released) myspace.com/amazinggraceofficial Amazing Grace is a band that I know more about through research and word-of-mouth than I do from personal interaction. Reputedly, these guys were the kings of South Florida’s punk rock scene in the sense that they pretty much nailed every groupie in town and…
Knowing that tomorrow will be Natacha Seijas’s last day as a county commissioner has us all queasy like a twelfth grader on the last day of school. It’s like Banana Republican is entering the unknown unknown, a surreal world without the poster lady for bad local government. Her departure had…
Rick Scott’s racist clemency rules
UPDATE: Miami-Dade State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle stands by her decision to prosecute Michelle Spence-Jones for bribery, claiming the judge presiding over the suspended Miami city commissioner’s trial screwed up the verdict’s outcome.”We disagree with the judge’s interpretation of bribery law,” Rundle said in a statement released shortly after a…
Go ahead and call us degenerate gamblers. But we here at Crossfade are hardly alone in the belief that life is infinitely less boring when you’re betting on it. Whether the action is competitive vodka-guzzling, the Westminster Kennel Club dog show, or the arrival patterns of Miami-Dade County public transportation,…
In this week’s New Times, we profile Richard Moss, basic training director of Miami Dade College’s School of Justice, who has a troubled past. We investigate Moss, who was demoted from chief to commander when he was with the Broward Sherriff’s Office because of insubordination.The report also documents complaints filed against…
Natacha Seijas was right to worry about her name appearing on the same recall ballot as Carlos Alvarez. She was swept up in the voter tsunami that also took out the now former county mayor. Many local political pundits didn’t give Miami Voice, the political action committee that sought Seijas’s…
Mayoral candidate and Miami New Times columnist Luther Campbell wants to get it on. At the ballot box. Not the champagne room. Now that voters have shown Carlos Alvarez the exit door, the onetime raunchiest man in hip-hop is calling on the county commission to set a date for another…
The Miami-Dade Elections Department is reporting that initial absentee ballots show an overwhelming majority of those voters want Carlos Alvarez and Natacha Seijas out of here. Early voting numbers and today’s election day results are still pending. Earlier this afternoon, like the rest of the precincts in Miami-Dade County, voting…
