After another shitty day at a shitty job in a shitty city, I decided to relax by listening to an old LP of sci-fi movie sound effects and watching shadows on my bedroom walls while blitzed on acid. At the time, this seemed like the best way to spend the…
Megan wanted a millionaire, instead she got a DUI.Megan Hauserman, the prolific reality TV star, was arrested yesterday morning on Miami Beach for driving under the influence. At about 3:15 a.m. police observed her 2008 BMW weaving between lanes and traveling 75 mph in a 55 mph zone. Police claim her…
Phil Spinella, owner of A&B Body Shop in Homestead, insists the damage he repaired on Mayor Steve Bateman’s city-issued SUV was caused by a blown tire.”There is no question about it,” Spinella said via a telephone interview. “The tire’s rubber housing took out the rear bumper. That’s what we billed…
We had some strange and creepy ones this week. Let’s get down to it: 5. Paul Edwards, busted for murder by his alleged victim’s beyond-the-grave text message. So cops investigating a missing female sent their top suspect, her boyfriend and Miramar resident Edwards, a text message from her phone number reading,…
We checked in with Developers Diversified, the folks in charge, among other things, of stocking Miami’s fastest growing neighborhood with new restaurants, to see what was coming up. The spokesperson let us know that they were “excited to announce the opening of Egyptian Pizza Kitchen and Hurricane Grill & Wings…
Even the show’s producers understands why no one wants to be associated with the Jersey Shore. Apparently the show was interested in filming scenes at Rapids Water Park up in Palm Beach County, and Jose Lambiet got a hold of the contract MTV requires all potential shooting locations to sign.The…
In the midst of launching one of the most notorious sandwiches in fast food history, the Double Down, KFC is balancing all of that fried chicken, cheese and bacon with a good cause. From now until May 23, KFC is launching Buckets For The Cure. This program, in conjunction with…
Looks like Food & Wine isn’t the only national culinary magazine that has trouble locating Miami on the map. The latest issue of Food Arts (April 2010), a glossy industry publication “at the restaurant and hotel forefront”, reports two exciting new Miami restaurant openings: Pacific Time debuted in the Design…
Oscar Alfonso (right) and Joe Geller (center) lost their hand-picked city manager Matthew Schwartz (left).This past Tuesday night, a coup went down in North Bay Village. The city commission voted 3-2 to fire city Manager Matthew Schwartz. Before he left the city commission meeting, Schwartz addressed the audience. “I wish…
Dance with Death Spine-tingling: Incredible writing (“Dead at Dawn,” Natalie O’Neill, April 8). Reading this sent chills down my neck with each sentence. Powerful, powerful stuff. We live in such a simultaneously beautiful and violent city. Ryan An American tragedy: An extraordinary piece of writing. This is what journalism used…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke claims Major League Baseball has a plan to phase out African-American players and replace them with black…
So we stumble across this image, courtesy of World Red Eye, of Mansion’s current marquee declaring “PER NIK RICHIE & THEDIRTY.COM NO JERSEY SHORE ALLOWED AT MANSION MIAMI.” Nik Richie and TheDirty.com is, according to the website, “the world’s first reality blogger” — whatever that fucking means. Richie writes on…
Webbz brings the long awaited God’s Plan project to life. Its technically a mixtape, but most definitely sounds and plays out more like a street album. And with Dade Dilla, Midus and God himself serving as executive producers – God’s Plan has some of Webbz’s best work yet.The mixtape starts…
Last week, we raved about Panic Bomber’s latest effort, Discipline, calling it his best work to date. If you haven’t heard it, do it so now. After that, thank Richard Haig and YYZ Records who have made the Discipline EP Remixes a free download.None of the reworkings match the catchy…
During a recent visit to Whole Foods, Short Order discovered Bubbies Mochi Ice Cream. We purchased a package despite the slightly expensive $7.99 price tag for a package of eight. Bubbies is produced by a Hawaii-based company and comes in 19 different flavors including lychee, strawberry, green tea, azuki bean…
Music vet and New Times scribe Lee Zimmerman shares stories of memorable rock ‘n’ roll encounters that took place in our local environs. This week, an uncomfortable encounter with Iron Maiden and a mad dash to get their singer to the show on time.Long before the arrival of Hard Rock,…
In our Moving Units column, Mike Ramirez at Fort Lauderdale’s Radio-Active Records graciously keeps us up-to-date and comments on the current releases flying out of his store each week.As foretold, hip-hop producer Madlib notched some serious sales of his latest Beat Konducta installment this week. Some of the other records…
Apparently one of the main plot lines of Kourtney And Khloe Take Miami season two involves the duo giving a makeover to their Washington Ave boutique Dash. Today the sisters posted pictures from a photoshoot to promote the revamp, in which the were airbrushed with body paint (and then we…
The Herald ran a story this weekend on Jersey Shore and other reality shows on South Beach, which we promptly ignored because reading the Herald is literally a job to us, and we don’t work on the weekend. Not at this price. Anyway there is one little detail we’d like…
Short Order was shopping at the newest Publix on Miami Beach and was shocked to see the Arctic scene taking place in the ice cream section. Since this location debuted a few months ago, it has been our go-to Publix in the 33139 hood. We have been impressed by the…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke claims Major League Baseball has a plan to phase out African American players and replace them with…
Hollywood may still have problems finding complicated roles for women of a certain age, but it is a golden age on reality TV for ladies over the age of 30 (who want to act like 12 year olds). While Miami may never get its own Real Housewives franchise on Bravo,…
