Just before 2 a.m. inside a tony Key Biscayne waterfront condo, a woman clad only in panties chased a dark-haired 22-year-old into the hallway, screaming and smacking his face. The year was 1993. The half-naked lady was Dorothy Naomi Black, just divorced from South Florida’s most powerful criminal defense attorney,…
The good news: The roller-skating thief who tormented the Jacuzzi Boys was quickly captured. The bad news: This was not allowed to mature into a thoroughly hilarious, full-scale crime spree. If it appears your child might have a future in the NBA, you might just want to take a bit of…
You know, media mogul and notorious big baller Ted Turner was totally right when he said: “Sports is like a war without the killing.” And that’s why our Miami Dolphins should immediately suspend their punk-bitch-porpoise-in-a helmet logo in favor of Last Rights’ Mac-10 redesign. For one, this murder weapon with…
Locos Por Juana are the Latin Grammy nominated sound killers from Dade whose music has rang out in clubs, halls, theaters, and festivals around the world.Recently they sat in on a mostly acoustic session at the WDNA 88.9 FM studios where Carlos Garcia hosts Sound Theory Live and gives locals…
What is fast food to a redneck? Hitting a dear at 65 mph.I like White Castle but White Castle doesn’t like me. ~Craig Hopson, chef at Le Cirque, N.Y.C.After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for…
Just when I think all is lost in this chaotic, transient subtropical paradise I call home, some of my homies give me hope. They’ve demonstrated that Miami-Dade does have people who care about the world around them and are willing to raise awareness about making the world a better, safer…
Stone Crab Season BeginsDolphins shmolphins — the season we really care about kicks off at Joe’s Stone Crabs next Thursday, October 15th. Stone crabs are always winners.11 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-673-0365.Florida In A Bottle4 Orange Premium Vodka is the world’s first and only vodka distilled from pure Florida oranges…
For Sale: Communism Survive on, baby: It is so rewarding to read an article such as “Cuba’s Craigslist” (Tim Elfrink, October 1) that portrays the reality of the Cuban people. Imprisonment of the mind is what we struggle against every day. A big thumbs-up to the creators of Revolico and…
Find your inner animal at Fox’s Sherron Inn in South Miami
Like all purebred party animals, the adventuresome men of Miami garage psych crew Lil Daggers welcome any kind of fun, no matter how dangerous, drunk, or bizarre. They’ll play house parties. They’ll play pool parties. They’ll play satanic séances, bake sales and shit fights. From the very first Pagan fuck…
Luna Rises Again”Back by Popular Demand” declares the banner across the re-rechristened Luna Cafe at 4770 Biscayne Boulevard. Short Order had reported in July that Luna had changed its name to L’artista Restaurant and tweaked the menu towards a more fine dining experience. We noted that it “Seems a curious…
This week Archive Diver rips some music and dance related listings straight out of the classifieds of our paper’s October 5 – 11, 1988 edition.We’ve got private dirty dancing lessons, an ad to sell peace bracelets at a Grateful Dead concert, DJ Mont “progressive since 1979,” and country and amateur…
Moving Units is a weekly column on Crossfade tracking the best-selling albums at South Florida independent record stores. Click here to view past top-sellers. Top Five Albums for the Week of September 28-October 3 Sweat Records, Miami 1. Where The Wild Things Are, Karen O. & the Kids2. I And…
Did something improper go on in Hialeah’s budget office? Did budget director Alex Vega and senior internal auditor Ana Maria Gomez do more than just crunch numbers on city time? Well, whatever they were up to, it didn’t sit well with Vega’s wife Tania. This past April 6 around 12:30…
“Every time I have walked through the front gate I have become overwhelmed with a sense of contentment…Casa Tua has inspired my mind to new ideas, while at the same time given me a feeling of being welcomed home…I am very excited to journey into the world of Casa Tua…
This remix of Black Dada’s “Imma Zoe” comes courtesy of UB the Underboss from the THC crew. The song is called “Imma Chico,” and it calls for Latinos all over Miami-Dade County, South Florida, and the world to stand up.Here’s UB’s message that we received by e-mail with the track: “Get ready…
Seven hours. That’s how long Ryan Evans mixes up the mayhem at Buck 15 each and every Friday night. Seven hours. But if you’re the kind of DJ who can begin with ’90s hip-hop, segue through commercial house, and peak with classic rock and roll, well, seven hours is just…
Sometimes, everything you’ve ever feared about the drive- thru is true. Careful what you say into that fast food speaker. Short Order recently met Trew Money, his rap name, in a local bar and grill kitchen where he was working as a dishwasher. We asked if he had any funny…
Like thousands of other readers of the Miami Herald, I was charmed Friday when I read of the 20-year, multimillion-dollar effort to spruce up downtown sidewalks. World-famous artist Burle Marx designed about a mile of walkways similar to those on Rio’s Copacabana for Biscayne Boulevard between the Arsht Center and…
Inspired by the Late Summer Vegetable Salad dish recently devoured at Sra. Martinez, (soon to be named one of Esquire magazine’s 20 best restaurants of 2009,) we whipped up this tasty take in about an hour. Suffice to say that mere minutes after that hour, a crumb and a puddle…
Are paintings made of menstrual blood creepy enough for you? How about a Rape Tunnel? Oh, wait. The Rape Tunnel was fake, but the blood paintings are a little too real. Tomas Regalado might have helped to raise some money for one little terrorist, but he doesn’t want to talk about…
Like a hipster boy who just got dumped by his admittedly too-perfect girlfriend, White Room’s having a tough time bouncing back from its recent breakup with local queen of cool, Poplife. Especially harsh was the fact that the bitch (er, Poplife, in this case) immediately shacked up with that new,…
