I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it “Do not eat if seal is broken.” So I opened up the box, and sure enough… ~Brian KileyThe murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums. ~Peter De VriesI never eat in a restaurant that’s…
In April, the LA Times wrote this about Miami Social: “It is the most vapid, foul, awful, self-satisfied group of people ever assembled in the entire world, and it will be a smashing success.” Well, they were right about one thing. Thankfully, they were wrong about the “smashing success” part. Social’s premiere…
Graveyard first played in South Florida a few months ago, opening for Clutch and the Sword at Culture Room. A quick scan of the crowd showed I wasn’t the only one floored by these Swedes’ straight-up vintage-sounding, heavy psych onslaught. Well, maybe that crushing feeling was partly a result of…
Early on in my ongoing tour of duty for New Times, I had the pleasure of telling the story of Fane Lozman, a Miami native who made a small fortune as a Chicago software engineer before coming home in 2003. That year Lozman settled into a nondescript houseboat off the waters…
Jonathan Eismann, Chef/Owner Pacific Time and Pizza VolanteBest Squid in Ho Chi Minh City, cooked over a fire in a old steel drum in the street, Best Pork Chops in history there, too. Saigon Killer Pork Chops!Best Chinese and Dim Sum at a place right next to the Mandarin Oriental…
The Rich Will Inherit Wade will win: In response to “Dwyane’s Disaster” (Gus Garcia-Roberts, July 9): Baron Richard von Hautman sounds like quite a character. He’s too full of himself, to the point of intoxication. It really won’t be that hard to legally arrange for his fall. All Dwyane Wade…
Notes from the Soundboard is a new column appearing weekly on Crossfade, focused on pop music’s history and ongoing evolution. Lee Zimmerman shares insights and observations on how music continues to connect with the weirdness of the world. Click here to read past installments.Okay, let me start by stating that…
How does one recap a show where nothing happens? Such is the problem of writing about Miami Social. Sure, “things” happened. Body party moved. Mouth opened, tongues twisted, and words came out (half the time that word was Gansevoort). Things vaguely resembling emotions were emoted. And even though Bravo frequently…
On Crossfade, I’ve been following the Boca rock and rollers of Stonefox as they’ve worked in their home studio, and prepared for their upcoming July 30 CD release show at Propaganda. (For a refresher, click here for a free MP3 from that new album, Back on the Wire.)I visited them…
Miami singer/songwriter Daphna Rose sounds like a folky lounge singer, blending expressive and insightful lyrical arrangements with her brand of accessible bluesy pop. When she reaches for the chorus of this featured MP3, singing “There’s room for a miracle in my life,” she seems to channel Elvis Costello. At other times, the song plays like one of those inspirational and…
Short Order recently met James, a veteran waiter with more war stories than a hundred year old soldier. Here’s a funny story:”I was working at Capital Grille at the time and this table of guys are eating dinner. One of em’s got on this $15,000 watch, one of those Pierre…
As part of Short Order’s continued efforts to expose the less glamorous realities of restaurant work, we’ve been asking workers about their lives. Here, Mary Edwards (fake name) from “some restaurant in Miami” (to protect the identities of the innocent) gave us this story about a particularly bad customer: “Christmas Eve…
Hey eaters, guess what, while you’re off in the dining room eating spaghetti at your favorite restaurant there’s a whole universe of drama spinning in the kitchen. An entire Greek tragedy may have played out over your plate as it went out. One great tradition is the kitchen prank. Short…
As we embark on another hot and sweltering summer in the M.I.A., it’s bound to get hotter with the release of local hip-hop heavyweight Billy Blue’s new mixtape, 36 Reasons. It’s a preemptive strike before his major-label debut album, The Story of My Life, due out the end of August…
According to Wikipedia, Debbie Gibson holds the record for “youngest female artist ever to write, produce, and perform on a Billboard # 1 single.” That’s for her song “Foolish Beat,” which is a pretty shitty song.Thanks to a shared producer, Debbie Gibson also sang back ups for legendary hardcore punk…
Miami Social is everything you hate about Miami Beach. It is the reality-TV iteration of guest-list culture, of egotistical 30-somethings who’ve mistaken a sense of self for being able to get a bottle of Goose comped on the weekend, and of LMFAO’s “I’m in Miami, Bitch,” that comes off as real…
In case you missed it, during the early hours of July 1, the Miami-Dade County Commission approved a revision to the financing plan for the Marlins baseball stadium that is going to end up costing us $2.4 billion — a number that somehow eluded the intellectual prowess of financial guru…
Starting August 1st, China Grill’s new Summer menu will include half-orders of the existing sharing plates. As the press release explains, “The new pricing is ideal for single diners and smaller parties who can now enjoy the same China Grill Experience they’ve come to expect over the past 14 years…
Uncle Sam’s Music, South Beach1. Number Ones, Michael Jackson2. Thriller, Michael Jackson3. Black Summers’ Night, Maxwell4. The Eternal, Sonic Youth5. Manners, Passion Pit…
Six months ago, when New Times gave DJ Vertigo his props, the architecturally-inclined head-spinner was holding down each and every Saturday night at Pangaea in the Hard Rock. Well, guess what? Vertigo’s still Pangaea’s go-to cat. And if the crowds that continue to throng the Hollywood hotspot mean anything at…
Sometime early last night, Juan Tojeiro got in a bit of a spat with his girlfriend. Apparently still furious after the argument, the 38-year-old Miami resident took the only logical revenge: He plowed his motorcycle through the front door of her jewelry shop, barricaded himself inside, and then tried to…
If you find out your porn star wife is sleeping around with an attorney from White & Case, it is understandable you’d be angry. It is not really understandable to create a scandal by forwarding their sext messages to everyone at the lawyer’s firm and your children’s school.The ACLU is finally…
