Opinion & Commentary

I like an afterparty as much I like playing Ms. Pacman. But, just like Ms. Pacman, afterparties have no ending. I love Ms. Pacman, but level after level, ghost after ghost — they just keep on, until I die. Afterparties are cool but hour after hour, smoke after smoke –…

Iranian Agent Bingo She lies: I don’t for a second believe any of Shahrzad Mir Gholikhan’s lies as described in Deirdra Funcheon’s January 8 story, “The Agent from Iran.” She was a translator — she knew exactly what was being said. These terrorists get away with murder all the time…

With a long plastic tube, a Swiss Army knife, and a highlighter, a six-foot five-inch 19-year-old named Big Fern can produce an apparatus that not only yields euphoria but also has the potential to do something truly miraculous: make a bag of Funyuns taste delicious. “Building a bong is easy,”…

We haven’t been watching much Bravo since the last (and final?) season of Project Runway, but sort-of-vain local chef Jeff is still in the running on Top Chef. Now he’ll have another Miami native joining him on the cable channel. Meet Laury, a 23-year-old “freelance model” who was born and…

To read past installments of Miami According to Brooklyn, click here. I want to talk this week about how the younger generation has no respect for the older generation. The younger kids coming up have no respect for the people who have been there, done that sort of thing. I…

MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew is so successful that they tried to spin the concept off for America’s Top Pop Group. Local girl group Las Caprice made it on the show, but it sucked so much it abruptly came to an end after four episodes. How embarrassing. Well, the mother…

Times are really hard for ink-stained wretches in the musky Banana Republic we call Miami-Dade County. With the Miami Herald on the selling block and more layoffs expected early this year, MAP fizzling out, the ever-shrinking Miami SunPost, and even the bloodletting at New Times, being a local print journalist…

James DunnThe Long Ride Homewww.jamesdunnmusic.comEven the title boasts an air of familiarity, one that translates to the sound of the songs themselves. It breeds a connection that finds these muscular melodies recalling the angst-filled anthems of Bruce Springsteen as they might sound if sung by Jackson Browne. Indeed, there’s a…

Against All Authority has been keeping it real for over a decade and a half now, forming in the Magic City back in 1992, anchored mainly by bassist/vocalist Danny Lore and guitarist/vocalist Joe Koontz. While the band often gets easily lumped into the “ska-punk” category, it has mostly eschewed the…

To get an introduction to Jose El Rey (if you actually need one!) and to read previous installments of his weekly Crossfade column, Que Pasa, M.I.A?, click here. Against my better judgment and sense of comfort and convenience, I went camping. Into the woods. Into the night. With fire. And…

No Sympathy for the Piggies Naive city slickers: I was a bit disappointed at the slant Natalie O’Neill took in her December 25 article “Hog Huntin’.” It portrayed hunters as an irresponsible bunch with zero morality. The truth is there are as many types of hunters as there are people…

There are so many reality tv shows on network television these days, that I’ve really lost track. Apparently the Fox television network allows this ornery British chef Gordon Ramsay to have not one, but two reality series run on it’s airwaves. This second one which I’ve never heard of until…

To read past installments of Miami According to Brooklyn, click here. With the tattoo convention coming up this weekend in Miami, I want to talk about how these conventions are full of jackasses. I used to work for Eulogy Recordings, one of sponsors of it, and Madball is playing on…

Probably the only surf-rock song nearly everyone recognizes is “Wipe Out!” (if you really need a reminder, click here). And the version with which people are familiar is that done in 1963 by the Surfaris, a California quartet still making bank on the nostalgia circuit today. By all accounts, pretty…

The last thing the world needs is another rant by some snooty music scribe who actually believes he can peg the next Coldplay or validate some MySpace wannabe. Don’t worry; yours truly doesn’t make any such presumptions. You won’t find any holier-than-thou prognostications here — just good new sounds worth…

In the event that you’ve had better things to do than watch MTV deteriorate into a steaming sewer of reality programming, you may have missed South Florida’s double-time queer cast previewed on Real World Brooklyn. The show’s 21st season premiers January 7 and will follow its first-ever transgender character -…

To read past installments of ¿Que Pasa, M.I.A?, click here. Trying to make a New Year’s resolution stick is like trying to get all your friends to call you by a self-appointed nickname. (Dudes, bro, from now on call me  Shatterstar. ) This year, I’m gonna buckle down and really…

Ignoring the Facts The writer sucks: Tim Elfrink’s December 18 piece “Black October” is a one-sided and misleading characterization of the events of 2003 in Bolivia. The deaths and injuries associated with these events were indeed tragic and regrettable, but Mr. Elfrink’s effort to blame all of this on the…

Laguna Beach was a vapid show I did not care to watch. It begat The Hills which is a vapid show I do not care to watch. Now, The Hills begat The City which is probably a vapid show I will not care to watch. But, what’s this? Intrigue! Perhaps I…

UltrachicUltrachic (Self-released)www.myspace.com/ultrachicUltrachic stand on a weird crossroad bridge where they sonically span the golden years of Venezuelan rock (Sentimiento Muerto, Dermis Tatu, Desorden Público) with the newer bloods who continue to make the racket (Zapato 3, Los Amigos Invisibles, Caramelos de Cianuro). The funny thing is, Ultrachic bass player Luis…