Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the Johnny Football situation. The NCAA is doing a great job maintaining its reputation as the sleaziest,…
The frizz-haired Frank “Rat Bastard” Falestra rummaged through piles of T-shirts lined up against one of the pool tables at Churchill’s Pub. “This one right here,” the local legend said of a black and white cotton top he wore during a show, “is one of the most famous shirts in…
Had he lived to see a court date, Israel “Reefa” Hernandez-Llach could have argued that his tagging of a derelict Miami Beach building at 71st Street and Collins Avenue was neither mischievous, malicious, destructive, nor damaging. He could have insisted he wasn’t a vandal at all. Instead, he died after…
It’s the time of year when South Florida politicians must reveal their net worth to their constituents. So Riptide is here to let readers know which Miami-Dade state legislators are ballin’ like the Bawse at his King of Diamonds birthday party and which ones are probably living on a steady…
Nate “Igor” SmithA juggalo photographed on Wednesday, the first day of The Gathering, 2013.By its organizers’ own assessment, the Gathering of the Juggalos is an event filled with the most misunderstood people of all time. Juggalos are generally looked down upon by “normal” members of society, thought of as losers,…
Nate “Igor” SmithA juggalo photographed on Wednesday, the first day of The Gathering, 2013.At some point in your life, you may find yourself sitting in a minivan in rural Illinois, stressed out as you wear a metal butcher knife pendant around your neck. Your ankles are covered in mysterious goo…
Will.i.am is one of the world’s most popular musicians, which is very strange considering he’s also one of the worst pop stars on the planet. What do we mean by “worst?” Well, he continually proves himself to be an untalented, unintelligible hack. His lyric writing abilities — as showcased on…
Hello and welcome to the “dog days” of summer. Let’s face it. August is the price we pay for living in paradise. And you know what? A little 95-degree weather pales in comparison to sub-zero temperatures, any day! That being said, Ristorante Fratelli Milano is celebrating the “dog days” of…
For the past two weeks Rev. Richard P. Dunn II has been riding high following his legal victory over longtime nemesis Miami City Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones, preventing her from running for a third consecutive term — and thus allowing him to remove the biggest obstacle keeping him from reclaiming the…
Miami native Alex Rodriguez is getting a raw deal from Major League Baseball. Since Miami New Times broke the mind-blowing story of Biogenesis, a now-defunct anti-aging clinic in Coral Gables that supplied human growth hormone, testosterone, and anabolic steroids to Rodriguez and scores of other players, MLB Commissioner Bud Selig…
Chef Creole Responds Tell the full story: People can read your profile about me (“How He Rolls,” Emily Codik, August 1), see me with these five restaurants, driving this nice car, appearing on a few cooking shows, and kicking it with my celebrity clientele and think that I got it…
Everything about yesterday’s arrests of lobbyists Richard Candia and Jorge Forte, Miami Lakes Mayor Michael Pizzi, and Sweetwater Mayor Manuel “Manny” Maroño on federal bribery charges screams “Only in Miami.” There’s a paid anonymous informant who happily served up lobbyist Candia as a bagman for corrupt politicians to the FBI…
What’s dumber? A dance music blog completely fabricates an absurd story about one of the world’s most popular DJs, or that said DJ would be personally offended and find that the clearly false story is damaging to his career. More specifically, possibly affecting his ranking in the DJ Mag Top…
For three seasons, reality television show junkies have tuned into South Beach Tow on the cable channel truTV to catch the absurd hi-jinks that occur when someone’s car is jacked by Tremont Towing, one of the two companies that hitch cars in Miami Beach. Cameras follow Tremont employees as they…
Yesterday’s New York Post review of upcoming SyFy reality show, Heroes of Cosplay, angered quite a few of us in the geek community. The article portrays the cosplay community as “confused” and “weird,” all while looking down its nose at those who might enjoy the creative pursuit. Yes, cosplay is…
Living or visiting Miami Beach, tow trucks prowling for cars illegally parked on the streets and lots of the city is a common sight. No motorist who dares test Miami Beach’s parking laws is safe from the hooks of Beach Towing and Tremont Towing (which has its own faux reality…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes to bat for the most controversial baseball player in the universe. Miami native and New York Yankees…
A crowd of guys in trucker hats, beanies, and beards, and ladies in Joy Division T-shirts, headbands, and floral rompers drunkenly cheered on the contestants of the Drinking Olympics on the outdoor stage of Blackbird Ordinary. The festivities, which began well into the night, were held in conjunction with the…
Victoria Jackson, the former SNL cast member who turned to Tea Party politics in a misguided attempt to revive her career, is no longer a resident of South Florida. The news comes from a blog post on her mind-melting website, couched unceremoniously between an anecdote about the DMV and an…
Farm Fears Resist before it’s too late: Your piece about the mounting fears over Monsanto’s outsize influence (“Monsanto Menace,” Chris Parker, July 25) is excellent, but you omitted the latest coup d’état in the works by the biotech juggernaut. In its determination to leapfrog over opposition to its tactics and…
Rev. Richard Dunn II and all the other Michelle Spence-Jones haters think they got the last laugh. They’re wrong. Last week, a Florida District Court of Appeal ruled Miami’s only African-American city commissioner can’t seek a third consecutive term. She had appealed a lower court’s decision siding with Dunn, who…
The summer of 2013 will forever be known as the summer of the cronut. This little genius mashup of the croissant and the doughnut caused quite a splash this year, with people lining up hours before Dominique Ansel’s New York City bakery opens each day. Can’t wait for a cronut?…
