The Top Five Turkeys In Miami-Dade Politics

As we wake up this morning in honor of the Pilgrims and Indians of yesteryore by sharing a bountiful meal with friends and relatives, Banana Republican and a few of our friends in the Miami blogosphere wanted to show our gratitude to the jive turkeys passing themselves off as do…

Alleged Mangrove Killer John DuBois Squeaks By In Palmetto Bay Run-Off

A millionaire accused of massacring mangroves on his property narrowly won the vice-mayor’s post in yesterday’s Palmetto Bay run-off. John DuBois beat Brian Pariser by 28 votes to claim the seat.Those 28 voters apparently didn’t care that the Miami-Dade Department of Environmental Protection has tagged DuBois for “causing irreparable harm…

Miami-Dade’s Local Democratic Party Sucks

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes after Miami Democrats for supporting losers in local elections.Miami-Dade Democrats are feeling mighty good about President Barack…

Mugshots Friday: Drunk Girls, Ed Hardy Tattoos, and the Match Game

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Philly Restaurant Offers $26,000 Dinner: Bonus Designer Watch (Video)

Maybe the economy hasn’t tanked after all. How else can you explain shelling out $26,000 for dinner?hat’s how much it costs to enjoy La Castagne’s nine course truffle dinner for four. The Philadelphia restaurant conceptualized a dining event that is “the most extravagant and exclusive in the entire world,” according…

EDM Becoming a Cirque Du Soleil Production: Five Reasons It’s Gonna Suck

The world of EDM is basically one giant circus. You’ve got Steve Aoki doing acrobatics; David Guetta is running around in clown shoes; and Tiësto’s striking Jesus Christ poses as the most self-righteous ringleader ever. But all that’s been merely metaphorical until now. Cirque Du Soleil has teamed up with…

New York Times Review of Guy Fieri’s Restaurant Is a Snarky Must-Read

New York Times food critic Pete Wells has reviewed Guy Fieri’s new Times Square-area restaurant, Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar.Well, it’s less a review than a fully-formed script for a Saturday Night Live episode in which a food critic asks the bowling shirt-attired television personality…why? Just why?Never have I sympathized…

Jonathan Lazar, Former Sustain Owner, Describes What Miami Lacks

The closing of Sustain, the Midtown restaurant that emphasized local everything, elicited groans from some parts of the blogosphere. Months later, the space remains empty, but rumor has it the team behind the adjacent Sugarcane (and Lincoln Road’s Sushi Samba Dromo) has taken over the space and is planning an…

PETA Sex: Loons Overshoot With Zucchini (Video)

Oh PETA, I’ve got your number. You’re like that girl in college who always got drunk and flashed her boobs before vomiting on her shoes. You’ll do anything for attention.Look, I know that you’ve got an important message to get across, and we need animal rights advocates just as much…