New Times artist conception/Flickr via Mike W. (bagpipers) and Mike Kalasnik (Publix)
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If you give a Scotsman a Publix Pub Sub, he’s probably going to want to try another one.
At least, that’s what happened to one member of the “Tartan Army” — the devoted, kilt-wearing fanbase that follows the Scottish national football team — who found his way into a Publix ahead of tonight’s Brazil vs. Scotland World Cup match at Hard Rock Stadium (er, Miami Stadium).
The Tartan Army has descended upon South Florida in full force this week, dancing in kilts, drinking bars dry, and charming locals wherever they go. It was only a matter of time before one of them stumbled upon South Florida’s most sacred institution: the Publix deli counter.
After asking the internet what Pub Sub he should order and receiving more than 1,300 replies, a visiting Scot named Shaun (@shaunvlog) shared a video online of himself trying his first-ever Publix sub.
His Pub Sub analysis is hilarious
In a video posted to X, Shaun gleefully unwraps his sandwich in the parking lot of a West Palm Beach Publix (he was en route from Orlando to Miami) while the anticipation builds. He said that while the vast majority of his followers told him to go with the chicken tender sub, about 30 percent pushed for the Italian sub. He went with the chicken tender, loading it up with lettuce, tomato, jalapeño, and ranch.
“I think that was the wrong sauce choice,” the bearded ginger admits in the video, eyeing the overstuffed sub. “I think I probably should have got, like, a buffalo or something.”
He continues his analysis, unveiling the sandwich and taking in its sheer scale. “Damn, you guys put a lot of stuff on this. It’s a lot of meat, it’s a lot of salad, it’s a lot of sauce,” he observes.
Screenshot via Instagram/@shaunvlog
Then he took a bite — and came around quickly.
“I’m not even mad about the sauce choice anymore,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s good.”
Shaun ultimately gave the sub a solid 4.3 out of 5, calling it “good stuff” and praising the soft bread and flavorful chicken. He said he’s already planning a return trip to try the Italian sub before he leaves town.
The Scot did not respond to requests for comment in time for publication. In a DM via X, he told a New Times reporter that his schedule was, per his own account, “jam-packed.”
