Dolphins to Hold Practice Tonight at Sun Life Stadium (Update: No They Won’t)

If this past Saturday’s seven-on-seven scrimmage is any indication, the Miami Dolphins will go 0-16 and then explode. In a nutshell, the new-look offense starring wide receiver Brandon Marshall was atrocious. Even though Marshall has been dominant during practices, he finished the scrimmage with two catches for 11 yards. EVERYBODY PANIC!

Marshall himself said he was disappointed in his performance. And the rest of the offensive starters, including quarterback Chad Henne, had a pretty crappy afternoon. There’s no telling whether the offense’s bad play is because the defense is that good or the offense is that bad. For his part, coach Tony Sparano isn’t worried. It’s just practice, after all. But there’s an unreasonable sense of dread in Dolphins Nation today thanks to that scrimmage.

Tonight the Fins will practice under the Monday-night lights at Sun Life Stadium, and you can expect to see a slew of scripted plays. Reports are the Fins will work on a lot of third-down drills and red-zone plays.

So head to Sun Life stadium to get a glimpse of your 2010 Miami Dolphins, and see if Henne and Marshall and the rest of the offense can re-instill some hope. Or you can stay home, eat food that hasn’t been dipped in rat shit and bugs, and watch the Teen Choice Awards 2010, hosted by Katy Perry, on Fox. You’ll probably learn just as much about the fate of the Dolphins 2010 season by staring at Katy Perry’s knockers than actually going to the practice. Either way works.

Gates open at 5 p.m. Practice begins at 7. Parking and admittance are free.
Update: Practice at the stadium has been canceled due to inclement weather. The Dolphins will be practicing in their Practice Bubble in Davie instead. The Bubble is closed to the public. You are not allowed in The Bubble!