Sports

Be Mine: Valentine’s Day Sweethearts We’d Give to Miami Athletes

In which we honor a Valentine's Day tradition as old as time.

Source photos by Fozzyb (heart) and Michael Reaves (Tua)/Getty Images

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Valentine’s Day is upon us and love is in the air!

If you’re just finding this out here, it’s OK – Publix probably still has some treats left on the table in front of the bakery, and a romantic picnic on the beach doesn’t require reservations. You’re welcome.

Those of you who did remember the most manufactured holiday of them all are also likely familiar with its most cherished traditions; roses, Hallmark cards, romantic dinners, and those little candy “conversation hearts.”

On this sweet holiday, we’re honoring a Valentine’s Day tradition as old as time: giving our favorite South Florida athletes a chalky, pastel-hued, damn-near-inedible Sweetheart with a generic message stamped on it, just like when we were 6.

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BE MINE: Dwyane Wade

Fans of every team in South Florida have a wish list of whom they’d like to see the team acquire, but in reality, there is one man who got away – Dwyane Wade.

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Following all the big hoopla that came with Wade’s Miami homecoming and subsequent One Last Dance retirement tour in 2019, most Heat fans thought the team would never let him leave Miami again. Then in 2021, Wade up and announced he’d become a minority owner of the Utah Jazz.

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We have ourselves a serious if you love something set it free situation going here, and if we’re being honest, it sucks.

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XOXO: Tua Tagovailoa

It’s hard to say who needs a hug more: Miami Dolphins fans or Tua Tagovailoa. But a hug just feels like it needs to happen. After a season that see-sawed between MVP candidacy and ER residency, we could all use a long tight one and a kiss on the cheek for comfort.

As if the multiple concussion scares Tua has had to deal with over the course of his brief career weren’t reason enough to want to hug him, his teddy-bear demeanor and shy softness should be. Our money is on Tua being an elite hugger.

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SMILE: Jazz Chisholm

If smiles were a cryptocurrency, Miami Marlins Jazz Chisholm’s grin would have made everyone in South Florida a millionaire by now. Considering the wattage of Chisholm’s smile, we wouldn’t be surprised if the Marlins hold a Charge Your Tesla With Jazz’s Grin night at the ballpark this season.

The man just makes us happy – a condition Miami Marlins fans are about as accustomed to as snow days.

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SOUL MATE: Udonis Haslem

If Elon Musk decided his next venture would be to fund a multibillion-dollar lab with the sole intention of discovering which athlete in the history of athletes was most made to play for Miami, the results would tell us what we already know: Udonis Haslem.

If being born in Miami and having a 20-year career with the Miami Heat wasn’t signal enough to prove the fact that UD and Miami are forever partners, the massive tattoo of the state of Florida on his back and his appearance in Trick Daddy music videos seal the deal.

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UR CUTE: Spencer Knight

Spencer Knight came into Florida Panthers fans’ lives as a teenager, making him basically our son. He’s so young, we haven’t even had the talk yet with him. We’re giving him the most PG candy message we could find for Valentine’s Day.

Being born in 2001 makes Spencer Knight I was listening to Usher songs on Power96 when he was born years old, which is to say he probably needs to say “Trick or Treat” before we give him any candy.

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