Mugshots Friday: Badasser Chicks and Bearder Dudes

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 3/6

Charged with: Disorderly intoxication

Clearly, we must start with backwards-shirt dude.

Arrested: 3/1

Charged with: Bench warrant

If our knowledge of ’90s movies serves us correctly, this hacker’s name is either Cereal Killer or Acid Burn and he’s battling an evil computer genius using 1s and 0s.

Arrested: 3/3

Charged with: Battery

Well sir, we find your mugshot a bit derivative of that guy who got arrested in the middle of a haircut, but we’re not above running bootleg versions here.

Arrested: 3/2

Charged with: Armed burglary, grand theft of a firearm, criminal mischief, use of a false name or ID after arrest

FYI, that part of her neck tattoo that we can read says “throat” so we can only imagine what the first part of the tattoo said. Surely there could not be a lady more badass than this…

Arrested: 3/3

Charged with: Disorderly intoxication

[Giant explosion sound.] Respect the OG.

Arrested: 3/4

Charged with: Consuming alcohol in public

This guy is both what scares us and appeals to us about the prospect of never moving from Florida.

Arrested: 3/5

Charged with: Resisting officer without violence, disorderly conduct

Here we have the best beard of the week.

Arrested: 3/6

Charged with: Aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, criminal mischief

[Fucking Michael Bay mushroom cloud of flames and people running from a skyline screaming while, like, Tom Cruise flies through the sky on wires.]

Arrested: 3/1

Charged with: Indecent exposure

Yes his braids are tied under his chin. And it counts as a beard. [Entire world explodes.]

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