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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Arrested: 5/6
Oh, so that’s where Amanda Bynes got her style inspiration.
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Arrested: 5/8
Charges: Firearm Possession by a Convicted Felon, Cocaine Possession, Child Neglect with No Bodily Harm
Why do I feel like this is the kind of lady who’d bring pot to a party but you wouldn’t smoke it because you’re pretty sure it wasn’t 100% pot?
Charges: Cannabis Possession, Resisting an Officer with Violence
The real reason one should never have a mullet is because you don’t want a haircut that says “party in the rear” if you somehow wind up in jail.
Arrested: 5/6
Charges: Grand Theft Third Degree
Appropriate earring choice given the circumstances.
Arrested: 5/5
Charges: Cocaine Possession
Is that a Danzig shirt? You know, Danzig encourages a lot of things — New World Order conspiracy theories, occult ceremonies, certain aspects of Satanism — but drugs is not one of them.
Arrested: 5/2
Charges: Disorderly Conduct, Resisting and Officer
Um, excuse me ma’am, I believe you have a little bit of, uh, hair …in your hair.
Arrested: 5/4
Charges: Driving with License Suspended Habitual
Seriously, is just putting in some random splotch of whatever completely random color in your hair a new trend?
Arrested: 5/7
Charges: Burglary of an Unoccupied Dwelling While Masked, Battery
See, you’re supposed to go shirtless at the beach and wear a shirt in your mugshot. Think you got that messed up there. Common mistake.
Arrested: 5/7
Charges:Credit Card Fraud, Defrauding and Innkeeper, Grand Theft, Controlled Substance Possession.
Every once in a while we have to make fun of someone so incredibly bland and boring looking, because, honestly, so many of the other people this week tried. This guy. He just rolled out of bed, put on a gross t-shirt, and didn’t even try to spiffy up for his fun day of defrauding innkeepers.
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