Audio By Carbonatix
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Arrested: 2/21
Charges: Cocaine Trafficking
A tip on trying to start cool new eyebrow grooming trends: don’t.
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Arrested: 2/23
Charges: Grand Theft Auto
We were going to call this guy the Michael Jordan of stealing cars, but we realized the Michael Jordan of stealing cars wouldn’t get caught. So instead lets just call him the Rajon Rondo of stealing cars.
Arrested: 2/26
Charges: Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon, Criminal Mischief
“Officer, she shot daggers at me.”
“So you’re accusing her of assault with a deadly weapon?”
“Oh, no I was talking about her facial expression, but she did try to shoot me too.”
Arrested: 2/22
Charges: Organized Fraud, Worthless Checks and Retail Theft
Oh, so that’s where Anna Kournikova went.
Arrested: 2/26
Charges: Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon
We just Googled “White girl with neck tattoo,” and most of them get little hearts and stars or words like “blessed” and “dream” tattooed on the back of their necks just below the hair line. Not this chick. She’s going big or going home in the neck tattoo department. Respect.
Arrested: 2/25
Charges: Possession of a Controlled Substance and Cocaine.
This lady looks like she’s a longtime Mötley Crüe fan. Which is sad because she was born four years after the band started.
Arrested: 2/23
Charges: Grand Theft Auto
For all you stylish trend hunters out there, mugshots are a really good place to get normcore fashion inspiration.
Arrested: 2/22
Charges: Criminal Mischief
“Sir, did you purposefully tear your sleeve so we could get a peak of that sweet arm tattoo?”
Arrested: 2/22
Charges: Aggravated Assault
Normally you’re supposed to grow a beard to hide a double chin …not create the illusion of one.
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