Mugshots Friday: Yes, a Florida Marlins Face Tattoo Exists

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 4/23

Charges: Cocaine Trafficking, Drug and Firearm Possession

Is that an old Florida Marlins logo tattoo on your face?

Oh Norman Braman have mercy, it is. We guess when you’re already carrying around this punishment on your face for the rest of your life the jail time for coke trafficking doesn’t seem that bad.

Arrested:4/24

Charges: Grand Theft Third Degree

If Amanda Bynes has taught us nothing in these past few months, it’s that piercing your cheeks leads to no good.

Arrested: 4/22

Charges: Grand Theft Third Degree, Petit Theft, Cannabis Possession.

Seriously kids, just say no to cheek piercings.

Arrested:4/23

Charges: Petit Theft, Retail Theft and Grant Theft

Is that a “Respect Mom” tattoo or a “Respect Money” tattoo? Because in either case it doesn’t seem like you’re doing a good job at either.

Arrested: 4/22

Charges: Petit Theft

The wide eyes of a kid who just remembered that time he stayed up to watch Oz.

Arrested:4/21

Well, we’ve got ourselves a mullet.

Arrested: 4/21

Charges: Battery

Oh, and he was so close to winning the James Franco role in the stage adaptation of Spring Breakers.

Arrested: 4/21

This dude has made more bad decision about his personal appearance above his shoulders than most people do for their entire bodies in their entire lives.

Arrested: 4/22

Charges: Assault with a Firearm, Petit Theft

If you’re going to dye your hair with Kool Aid, at least keep it up.

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