Audio By Carbonatix
According to tradition, bad kids
receive coal in their Christmas stocking. But what’s worse? How about these five items?
Nuts
No message from Santa quite communicates that you’re a lousy lad better than a bag of nuts: almonds, walnuts, pecans,
pistachios, and chestnuts. Hard as rock and inedible.
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Fruit
Christmas, like most other major holidays in Western culture, is dominated by the belief that it’s a time to
indulge in sweets. That’s as it should be. So if Santa leaves you an apple in your stocking, get revenge: Leave him a
plate of grilled veggies by the fireplace.
Individually Wrapped Fruit Cake
These blocks belong in the fire along with the Yuletide log.
Ashy Chocolate
You’ve seen it before: a shiny
foil wrapper is all that stands between you and your craving. As you peel it back, though, you don’t see the luster of shiny chocolate but rather a
white powder. You might scrape away the ash, but all
it’s covering up is the fact that you’re about to eat old, hard,
disgusting chocolate.
Rainbow Candy Canes
These are the fruit-flavored, nasty
candy canes some peppermint-candy-cane-hater came up with. They might
be colorful, but the taste is less than refreshing.
